Monday, February 16, 2009

anarchists don't quite have the cut down

i was hoping to have a very exciting post for you today...about meeting michael ball and all of my most excellent tv coverage of my keirin cut chalking campaign....but i only have bad news.

i did not run into michael ball on sunday in santa rosa. needless to say, i am quite disappointed. i did, however, talk to some of michael ball's cronies... but it isn't exactly the same thing...

here is me sneaking up the rock racing car. please observe the jeans i am wearing that are too long and very wet.

and here is me trying to sneak into the back right door. unfortunately, it was locked. as you can tell that security is high, with the car being behind a cage (even though it was pretty easy to get through there)

what i was most struck by, seeing all the new rock racing marketing, was the rock racing trailer.

and the anarchy symbol is even all over the new kits. here is a picture from ken conley:

i didn't know michael ball was so into anarchy! sweeeeeeet!

michael ball, you must looove "days of war, nights of love?" pretty classic, huh?

see, look, he is even into Rock Racing tagging at UCI headquarters.

this gave me a sigh of relief that ball is totally all about disregarding the law! he must be totally into tagging. i think this means that michael ball would totally be in support of tagging "keirin cut" outside Rock & Republic headquarters. sadly, i don't live close by... but if you are in LA, feel free to tag "keirin cut" at the corporate office located at:
127 E 9th St # 1111, Los Angeles
or at their main distribution store located around beverly hills:
103 S Robertson Blvd, Los Angeles
i mean, nothing says anarchy like protesting $300 jeans that don't fit!


so not am i only bummed about not getting to chat up the ball-ster... but the rain has really been a damper on my parade. i mean, it must suck for all those guys racing in the rain. but it really sucks for me who was banking on some mass chalking of "keirin cut" on the road. i haven't seen any. someone did post a comment about using a bag of flour on the road in substitute of chalk; however, i have some concerns about the safety of riding over wet flour, so, i don't really advocate this.

i did, however, get this emailed to me. not sure if this is even on the tour route, but let's hope we'll see it on versus in the next couple of days.


i don't think some people get it how much these jeans are actually needed. now the anonymous comment i posted seemed to think my big quads are an anomoly. now, i like to think i am special and unique, but really, let's be honest, i am pretty average all around. i hear from many, many women time and time again about the improper "quad to waist" ratio of jeans. i hear this especially from girls who do sports of all varieties.

let me give you a concrete example, because i don't think some dudes really understand. graphics are always helpful.

so today i finally got to try on my first pair of rock & republic jeans. this is the perfect example of why "keirin cut" jeans are needed.

now, i have been trying to get michiko to go try on designer jeans with me for awhile to try on some R&R jeans...cause she is my only high class friend. and she told me she didn't want to take me to boutiques in downtown san francisco that actually carry these jeans, because she actually shops there regularly and doesn't want to be embarassed by my shanaingins. fair enough.

so i just saw an old friend who was in fact wearing some rock & republic jeans. now, i was quite astounded she could afford these, but she said they were "on sale." i promptly told her to take off her pants, as i needed to try them on.

here is a back shot, so you can see, that, yes, they are in fact "rock & republic jeans." i also put a tape measure around them and wore my orange shoes so you know it is me. most importantly, you can also see that this is a size in which the quads fit adequately, as does the butt.

now let us take a side view. here is a shot showing how enormously huge the waist must be for my humongous quads to fit. that is quite a poor "quad to waist ratio" in normal R&R jeans.

question: how big is the R&R quad to waist ratio off? answer: the width of a large size kleenex box. no belt can help that situation.

the kleenex box is 7.5 centimeters. these jeans were a size 31-- which is what fits my quads; however, something that fits normal on the waist would need to be trimmed down by approximately 7.5 cm, which is about 3 inches, which would be about a size 28.

this, of course, is just a quick experiment showing how the sizing of keirin cut jeans would need to be seriously altered to accomadate for the large quads, and adjust to a proper size "quad to waist ratio."

i hope this demo was informative and displayed some useful information on how different keirin cut jeans would be designed.


Gilby said...

Thank you for demonstrating why we can't simply buy Lane Bryant jeans & a belt!

Victoria's Secret currently has quite a few wide-leg jeans which accommodate large quads quite nicely. The jeans are only available online or from the catalog, but they are a hell of a lot cheaper than that R&R bullshit.

nich! said...

2 things!

1} Rock and Republic jeans are for bedazzled shirt wearing, hair gel using, chest shaving, Michelob Ultra drinking, financial district working, $8500 S-works that they only ride on the weekend having, ultra lounge patronizing, "i listen to Nickleback to get me pumped bro" stating, yuppies. I'd kick my own ass for wearing pants like that.

Plus, that commercial is like the lamest attempt at reenacting vandalism ever. Last time I time I caught a tag I didn't have time to mix my paint and pour it in a drip trough.

2} Have you watched any rap videos in the last 15 years girlfriend? It's a well known fact that the urban market loves a "cute face, slim waist and a big behind". Mix A Lot was not talking about Trapezius muscles when he said "little in the middle but she got much back." I know in your case we are talking about quads but i'm saying. As a result of the affinity for thickness on the lower half of things, many an urban fashion company produces jeans for just your dilemma. Go to Macy's and cop some Baby Phat jeans or some Apple Bottoms. I just looked on line and they must have like a thousand different washes and styles and im sure they will fit you fine. Them joints are like 40 bucks.

CyclistRick said...

Hey, good to see you on Sunday there cheering Karla on to a 4th place finish. We were soaked by the end of the crit.

We did see Michael a bit later, hanging out in the team car as Mancebo came into town (on the rest of the useless circuits the windows were up). Unfortunately we did not have a 'keirin cut' banner ready to unfurl for him.

prattler said...

somehow i noticed this in the stage 3 recap from versus. patterson? i dunno, i didn't see the entire stage.

prattler said...

also, isn't this video just ripping off marc ecko's dumb stunt from a few years ago where his crew 'tagged' 'air force one'?

Amy said...

to try on the range of expensive designer jeans w/out going to a boutique where you are worried about them remembering you...go to Savvy at Nordstrom.

fiber optic cable said...

Can't you just use one of the custom Jean Manufacturer's?

Stevil said...

You had me at "I told her to take off her pants".

mary mcmeen said...

well, the problem with those baby phat jeans is they are too low cut. you end up almost always showin yer heinie or just buttcrack. (which is great if you like that sort of thing.) i am not talkin about mom pants but, hopefully there is a place to meet in the middle.