Monday, December 16, 2013


bike vocabulary drives me bonkers.  let's just call it bikespeak.

the more and more i am around cyclists, the more i catch myself staying stupid phrases, that are indiscernible to the normal ear.

this must stop!

i made a handy chart below - please read - and do your best to resume to normal speak.  i will do my part.

What you sayWhat you meanExample
"Refeuling"Stuffing your faceSometimes I even hear people use the phrase "refueling" when they aren't even cycling.  If you go to the mall and stop for an Auntie Anne's pretzel, you can't really call that re-fueling.  If you go on a recovery ride and stop for coffee and a pastry, that also is not refueling.  Even if you are "refeuling" during a ride, just say eat.
"Resting"Being Lazy"Rest day -- need to recover." One of my favorites.  A great excuse not to do dishes, laundry, cleaning, take out trash, or take care of anything that really needs to be done.  
"Recovering"See Above See above
"Need a massage"I'm indulgingDoes anyone ever really *need* a massage.  Somehow when I took health class, I don't really remember seeing "massage" high up on Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
"Can't ____ because of my coach"Making a lame excuse For real?  How old are you?  Is this like when you were in high school and your mom would say: "if you need an excuse at the party... you can always use me."  No need to make your coach into public enemy #1.  I'm sure he/she isn't a huge buzz kill.  You're an adult - if you want to do something, do it. Tell your coach your schedule, that is what you are paying them for. If you don't want to go on a ride with your friend, just say it.  No need to bring your coach into it.
"Fuel up"EatAre you a car?  You are just eating.  Just talk like a normal person and say eat. 
"Hydrate"DrinkThis one isn't so bad, but still, drink and thirsty are perfectly acceptable words in the English dictionary.      
"Bonked"SuckedJust cause you were stupid to not eat enough doesn't change anything.  You still sucked.  Own it.
"Junior"Teenager, Teen, YouthDon't get me started on this one.  Who uses the word "junior" other than an old man saying to his grandson: "hey junior, come over here."  I don't know why the national federation decides to call 10-18 year olds "juniors" - but can't we just say what most people in society say... high schooler, middle schooler, youth, teen, etc.  Nobody says junior unless you are 80.

I am sure I can think of more, but let's first start by eradicating these from our vocabulary.  That will definitely prove to be challenging enough.


Aussie Kev said...

I "rest" far to often !!!

good writing !!!

Byron Anson said...

i like saying junior racer. way better ring to it than adolescent racer.

Jim said...

The one that drives me up a wall, but far too many riders use it, is "kit up". Damn it, you are getting dressed!

Furthermore a "kit" is shorts, jersey, skin suit, whatever. Why is it so hard to use the proper word for what you are wearing? "Kit" is a British slang term. It has no business in this country.

Now that I am on a roll, we need to stop using the term "technical" to describe a course with turns or hills. If a course has a lot of turns, say it has a lot of turns. If you said that it was "technical" to a non-cyclist, they would think you are crazed.