Friday, August 29, 2008

aspiration fufilled: podium girl tuesday!

well, no news from michael, erika, or sean. balls!

my quads are smaller now, 62.5cm. i think i probably got a little self conscious in LA and shed some girth. so-- question for people around steep tracks... are people's right quads bigger than their left quads cause of the angle? just curious!

so this week in sanjo is masters nationals. i am volunteering some-- but most exciting on my volunteer schedule is my tuesday from 7:30-8:00 shift, entitled: "awards presentations". awards presentations?! we all know what that means: podium girl! let's just say: i've waited my whole cycling career for this very moment!

now, some might say this 'podium girl' thing is a bit archaic of a tradition in cycling. balls! personally, i think podium girls are HOT. but if i didn't, i'd still be down with the whole thing... cause, let's be honest-- that is podium girl is probably the closest that that scrawny dude on the podium will ever get to a hot girl. it's not like we are swimmers. we are cyclists. let's be real. we don't match any standard of beauty. (unless your name is fabian).

so, because i love research and also succumb very easily to social pressure, i figured i better do some research on my responsibilities as podium girl. so i googled "podium girl" to see if i could learn something and get some tips for tuesday.

the first peice i read was on PezCycling news. okay, so those girls are seriously hot. that is a lot of pressure. even if i spent the whole day primping and went to the mall to get my makeup done, i still wouldn't be half that hot. but, that is the tour de france..... we're talking about masters those old guys and girls can't be so picky.

then i tried to read something on cycling news. but it was just too painful to read. i mean, i can't have respect when people start writing "zee" to imitate a french accent. "Zee beautiful girl and zee handsome rider - C'est la vie, C'est le Tour!" that is just obnoxious. so i closed the window without finishing the peice.

then i saw on amazon, that there is book about podium girls. but beware as a stocking stuffer... it looks like the book is only 45 pages for $15, and it is mostly pictures.... which might be what you want, and maybe cheaper and caries less social stigma than purchasing some soft porn.

then this flickr came up, entitled: "podium kiss with tounge." eek. well, i am not doing any of that!

but, for real, if you are actually interested in the business behind being a podium girl, check out this interview.

then i saw one that probably spoke to me the most and would most resemble my tuesday night 7:30-8:00 volunteering duty: "podium girls sooo sick of kissing ugly dane".

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

one, two, three, or four... responding to rock racing PR guy

it is nice to know rock racing cares about me and my amazing idea for keirin cut jeans? how do i know they care? the PR guy sean called me last week to tell me so. and then this week he sends me this email:

I am following up to see if you received a reply from Michael Ball or Erika Decker (marketing manager for Rock Racing) regarding the keirin cut jeans.


well, neither ericka nor michael had gotten back to me. but, how nice of sean to check in!

i kinda feel like i am on thin ice and not quite so sure about the extent to which i should continue my harassment. on the one hand, sean is totally nice and i don't want to be an annoying little bitch. it isn't his fault these people aren't getting back to me. on the other hand, he is my only in. and being annoying has gotten me further than being polite would have.... but all that said, it is very easy to harass someone who you haven't spoken with... and much more difficult to be impolite to someone who has expressed kindness to you. as you can tell, it is difficult to know how to proceed.

option #1: the diplomatic response:
Dear Sean:
Thank you very much for getting back to me so promptly. I have not heard anything from Mr. Ball or Ms. Decker. I would very much like to speak to either them about the prospects of keirin cut jeans. If you have their assistant's numbers, I can give them a call to schedule a time to talk. Thank you very much again for all of your help. I greatly look forward to meeting you and working with you further.
With warm regards,
option #2: the blasé response:
Hi Sean-
Nope, I haven't heard anything from either of them.
Any news?
Thanks for your phone message Friday!
option #3: the coquette response:
hi sean!
thanks so much for your email! you really are too sweet to get back to me! it's really wonderful to have an ally like yourself for keirin cut jeans. you must certainly have a lady friend who faces this dilemma of too big quads to fit in R&R jeans--and you are sick of hearing her talk about it.

it's funny- i keep getting random messages from people i don't even know about these keirin cut jeans. like, this week, i've had dozens and dozens of random people comment on this idea on my blog. this is because my blog got very popular this past week...cause i was linked by this guy called "bike snob nyc" and then i got 3,000 people on my site! after that, all sorts of people started finding me on myspace (which i haven't used in ages!) to tell me how much they like the idea! in fact, my friend from college who lives in nyc said he was hanging out with some rpeople, and he mentioned my idea for keirin cut-- and this woman for DC said: "Oh! That's Beth Bikes! I read her blog, are you kidding? She's awesome!"... and then (according to my friend): "... all the women I was hanging out with started a surprisingly long conversation about how a keirin cut women's jean is the best idea ever, totally needed, how come nobody thought of this before." isn't that cute? you don't even need to market these jeans! i've already done it!

anyway, sean, to answer your question... no i haven't heard from anyone except you! :( i'd really like to talk with micahel or erika about this... but i have to admit, i would like to talk with michael more... cause he is michael ball, and kinda has a cult personality thing going on, if you know what i mean... that, and, well, i think i'm probably better with middle aged men, than corporate-type women... but i can wear lots of hats and like talking to all sorts of different people-- be it the old church ladies or the budapest punk rock crowd.

anyway, you have my cell so have michael or erika call me anytime. i can't wait to chit chat!

hugs and kisses,

option #4: the angry response:

no, haven't heard from them.

frankly, i am getting a little bit sick of this. i sent my original email on august 6, and now it is august 26. i don't care if michael is "busy" with the tour of britain, USCF elections, or whatever else. that is his job. i have a full time job too. and i train and race my bike. and have other things i do. it doesn't take all that long to get back to someone. so please tell michael to get over himself and be respectful enough to get back to me.

if this idea shows up in the winter lineup without my consultation, i will be very angry and take action certainly.

well, option 4 certainly isn't me... but look how mean i can sound when i want to! it is hard to write mean letters. it is best done when hungry. (which is what i did.) but i could never send such a letter.... especially to sean cause he is so so nice!

well, while i initially would like to send option #3... maybe that is a bad idea. maybe it is kind of like dating.... being really cute and funny will usually get me a date or two, but it usually causes a fizzle around date number 3. and then unreturned calls. and then general agony. and then said dates going out with your friends instead. what a bummer being nice! i haven't really successfully figured out the social norm of dating, even though i am 26, but from what i have gathered through years and years without success, i think it involves some sort of aloofness. and maybe some general badassness. right? well, i am not so good at aloof and badass, but it is always good to try new things. so maybe i should try this with sean and send option #2.... like i don't need him... even though i do....but he doesn't know that..... well, he does know that... do you see my continual conundrum?!?!

but, we can treat this like george on seinfeld--when he landed that job with the yankees--do everything exactly opposite of what you normally would, and success will follow. thus, stemming from many experiences of failure and rejection, i think it is best to try something new. option #2: blasé response to sean.

Monday, August 25, 2008

la la land re-cap

so i wish i had some awesome news report from ADT entitled: "major upset by the black sheep from up north." however, it would more accurately be titled: "mediocre and predictable show from northern black sheep." nevertheless, either way you cut it, i am the black sheep. i think my biggest accomplishment from the weekend was when i passed steve palaez in the warmup on friday night. yes, that is steve "i <3 justin timberlake" pelaez.

i was hoping to roll into ADT and be tons faster, but my TTs were about the same/kinda slower...i was a big dumbshit in the keirin...i was just hanging on in the points race and didn't have the top-end to actually score...match sprints i pretty much unsuccessfully led them all out...and scratch race, i failed at setting things up for hanan. wow. i sound like a big downer. that all said, got some really good experience riding the track and learned some invaluable lessons. and i also thoroughly whooped my ass.

traveling with peterson and pelaez was pretty awesome. on the ride down, i chose my favorite seat in the car: back right. in any car situation, i typically try to call "back right" instead of "shotgun" because it is definitely the low pressure seat. and i am all about low pressure, especially regarding conversation in a car. shotgun has a lot of responsibility-- with keeping the driving entertained and the people in the back engaged in conversation, dealing with the radio, navigating, etc. back seat is a free ride. and back right is far superior than back left, because it makes it difficult for the person sitting shotgun to make eye contact with you, perhaps, thus, shirking some shotgun duties on you. back right is out of the line of vision, and thus just needs to listen and can chime in when s/he likes. so, i pretty much was the peanut gallary the whole trip down, which was perfect. basically it went like this steve "i AM the filipino national team" would tell a story, and me or brian "hardcore, not an adjective as in tough, but a noun, in the NOFX sense, but probably not so mainstream" peterson would cut steve down just a little more.

friday night we went right to the track where we did a mini-workout...that is when i passed steve pelaez. we won't give details on that. (by we, i mean i.) that track is like a black hole, and somehow we stayed in there way too long. we spent the evening at a sweet apartment, then went back the next day for a very long day at the track. hanan and derek were also there to race, and the oldster and hooptie rolled in later in the afternoon.... basically, so hooptie could lay the smack down hard in that points race. boo yah. we were also met my steve's filipino entourage and cheering section. he is quite popular. i already described how mediocre my day went....but, despite mediocrity, i was exhausted! sunday was much like saturday. except it started with micky mouse waffles, which automatically made it better. drove back sunday evening, and i was a pretty poor shotgun companion, cause i crack under chatting pressure... that, and i had a lot of gas-- which i am totally blaming that powerbar endurance formula for. i, was too embarassed to apologize about the gas in the car, but sorry brian!

it was definitely cool chatting with some of the really, really fast women down there. and they were really nice (especially becky lang & cari higgins) for giving me a few pointers about that track. this would have been perfect opportunity to pitch my keirin cut jeans to these trackie girls. and recruit models. but i totally forgot. damn, and bahati was even racing too...and i failed to bother him before or after his race about michael ball. i blame it on those neon green kits. they are just pretty intimidating...

...and that was the quick lala land re-cap.

Friday, August 22, 2008

the day after fame...things are exactly the same

i realize it is slightly late, but i couldn't be leaving for a trip without staying up too late because i failed to get my ducks in line earlier in the week. i'm off to lalaland with peterson and paelez. i believe this car ride can go one of two ways. either it will be extroidinarily educational for me and they will both tell me all of their bike racing secrets... or i will blab for five hours about completely non-sensical things...

well, as we all know, i was mentioned on bikesnobnyc yesterday. that kind of sucks if that was my 15 minutes of fame. no offense, but i was hoping to at least give my mom a shoutout in my 15 minutes. so, if that i was it, here it is a bit late: "love you mom!" anyway, the most astounding thing is that 3,000 people went to my blog yesterday. that is up from around 100. holy moly! i am going to be kind of boring for awhile, so i lose some mean readers. i don't really want douchebags leaving me "hidden comments" on old, old posts like this dude:
rider with a life and no blog said...
you need to get a life [....]for gods sake, stop carrying on about your damn legs. big legs don't mean you'll be a good rider. pendleton doesn't have huge legs compared to some of the others. give us all a break.... please.

yeah, he is right. i should stop carrying on about my legs. RWALANB, let me explain: it's just that.....i really don't have anything else to write about. i'm kinda mediocre, like sarah plain and tall. except i am neither tall, and my name is not sarah. i also have a tendency to ramble, and bang the nail in the coffin so far, that the coffin is no longer water protected...and poor aunt murtle's house dress is probably all moss-infested because of me. but, yeah, i guess you are right. big legs don't necessarily make me fast. and, for the record, i never claimed to be a "good rider." i have plenty of references of people who would tell you what a bad rider i am.

and, as for an update on the keirin cut, i have no developments. i received a voicmail from someone at rock racing yesterday. and it wasn't even involving a stalking complaint or restraining order. so, i took that as a good sign.

well, quads for the week are at 63cm. but, yes, commenter you are right. many girls with smaller quads are probably going to kick my ass this weekend.

Friday, August 15, 2008

mball, keirin cut... still no response...

hi michael-

it's me again, beth. HI! i do hope you are getting my emails! maybe you just think i am crazy or not serious about "keirin cut" jeans. first, no, i am not crazy. i am just from the midwest, so am a bit too candid sometimes. second, i am serious about "keirin cut" jeans! i am very persistent, so please get back to me!

you know what? i saw that you were interviewed this week by both triple crankset and pez cycling news! that is cool. i mean, those are both pretty good cycling news sources. but my blog, beth bikes! has pretty much penetrated the biggest cycling market there is: the 40 year old silicon valley riders! (and you know what? beth bikes! also has penetrated the 4-wheeling market too. why? well, actually, if you 'google images' "biggest quads" look what comes up! whoa!!). but the point is, my blog gets mad hits.... so i think you would be wise to: 1) seriously get on this "keirin cut" jean design, and 2) DO AN INTERVIEW WITH ME! what do i know about interviews? i do way better interviews than the other folks. need proof? check out my interview to rising cycling star, karla kingsley. (you should sign her, by the way. she'd look great straddling a neon green bike. she won a superweek stage on the heaviest bike in the peloton, so just think what she could do on a neon green bike!)

anyway, these interviews were good to read, and i think i got to know you a little better. some parts were really motivating...and i think really highlighted how great of a fit "keirin cut" would be for rock & republic. let me make my case. here is me quoting you, to you.

From Pez (on your business strategy):

I tell everyone; 'if you can't get in the front door, go to the back door and if you can't get in the back door, go through the window!'

See! This is why I am emailing you at every address I can find. You have to respect that I am just like you. Going in the window! Get back to me!

From Pez (on how you got into jean design):

The girl I was going out with at the time wore these unflattering denims and I said to her; 'those jeans don't do your body justice!'

So, she challenged me to make her a better pair; I had experience of patterns from my mother and grand mother; I made her a pair and that lead to the formation of Rock & Republic – that was just six years ago!

Michael--c'mon! I challenge you to make us sprinter girls some jeans!!!

From Pez (on how you named "rock and republic"):

'Republic' that's the people, taking the brand to them.

And who are the people here?! ME! Us sprinter girls REALLY NEED some keirin cuts!

From Triple Crankset (on the RR women's team):

Our women's team turned out to be a little bit of distraction and kind of a disaster to be honest. We're going to have to take a step back and take a look at it from a different perspective. We're going to have to rethink how we're going to structure this next year.

There were things that shouldn't have been happening that were happening. So be it. It's human nature, but when it starts affecting the team…uh-uh. We're going to have to start looking for another way to do it. It just didn't work out the way I thought. Thanks for the support of women's cycling. We'll continue to support women's cycling but we'll have to think of ways to restructure it. Do it completely different with two completely separate organizations. I think that was the mistake thinking we could all be one big happy family. I was maybe naïve.

Yes, how to support women's cycling. I say start by: 1) making some keirin cut jeans, and 2) paying some existing women's teams mad cash to put the "keirin cut" on their kit-- like right on the quads, baby.

Okay, Michael, that is that. I think your interviews were awesome! And, if anything, they really showed me how you really support me and my quest for "keirin cut" jeans.
-You like that I am harassing you, cause it shows how persistent and creative I am.
-You like my creativity.
-You like that the idea is from the people!
-And you want to make a pair of jeans that really fit sprinter girls, like me!

Okay, please get back to me soon! I look forward to meeting you and getting this thing moving!



quick friday update

63cm today.

no response from michael ball.

last night 70 of us successfully performed the thriller dance at the oakland zoo.

that is all.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

quad measuring hits cycling news

thank you brian and molly for pointing out this cycling news interview with Grégory Baugé.
Procycling: How much weight training do you do?

GB: Three times a week. And then big-gear riding, which is another form of weight training - a way of getting big thighs!

Procycling: Speaking of which, how big are your thighs?

GB: 69cm! It's weird!

Procycling: That must give you trouble buying trousers…

GB: No, because [demonstrates by plucking at his clothes] I always go for loose clothes in a big size. It's not too difficult.
Happy to see quad measuring hitting mainstream cycling media outlets.

AARP! Geritol! Depends!

Just kidding. Those old guys are all faster than me.

But they need lots of help, especially considering most of the regular volunteers will be racing. If you have been racing at Hellyer at all this year, you should really come down for a day (or a 4-hr slot) to help out. They need LOTS of help. Info from Rick Adams below.
Master Nationals is just three weeks from today. Please help us put on an exceptional master nationals. Elite and juniors riders please consider volunteering at these championship events. Volunteer early and often. We welcome all volunteers not just Masters. Great way for a spouse or teenager to help.

?Questions, email Rick Adams,

Task Time Needed Name
Saturday 8/30
Track Supervisor 10am-noon 1 Mark Rodamaker
Track Supervisor Noon-2pm 1 Kevin Worley
Track Supervisor 2pm-4pm 1 Kevin Worley
Track Supervisor 4pm-6pm 1 Robin Horwitz

Sunday, 8/31
Velodrome sweep 10am-2pm 2
Track Supervisor 10am-noon 1 Robin Horwitz
Track Supervisors Noon-2pm 1 Tim Montagne
Track Supervisors 2pm-4pm 1 Tim Montagne
Track Supervisors 4pm-6pm 1

Monday 9/1
Prepare Rider Packet 10am-Noon 4
Velodrome set-up Noon-4pm 2
Registration support Noon-4pm 3
Shirt sales Noon-4pm 1
Track Supervisor 10am-noon 1 Mark Rodamaker
Track Supervisors 2pm-4:30pm 1
Track Supervisors 7pm-9pm 1 Larry Nolan
Back Crossing guard 3pm-5pm 1
Barbeque set-up 3pm-5pm 4
Barbeque service 5pm-8pm 4
Barbeque clean-up 7pm-9pm 4

Tuesday 9/2
Back Crossing guard 10 am to 3 1
Back Crossing guard 5:30-9:30 pm 1
Velodrome set-up 8am-9:30am 1
Track Supervisor 8am-10am 1 Peter Bohl
500m, Kilo Holders 10am-Noon 3
500m, Kilo Holders Noon-3pm 3
Awards Presentations 2pm-3pm 1
Track Supervisors 3:30pm-5:30pm 1
500m, Kilo Holders 5:30pm-8pm 3
Shirt sales 5:00pm-7pm 1
Awards Presentations 7:30pm-8pm 1
Velodrome clean-up 8:30pm-9:30pm 2

Wednesday 9/3
Back Crossing guard 9 am to 3 1
Back Crossing guard 5:30-9:30 pm 1
Velodrome set-up 8:00am-9:00am 1
Track Supervisor 7:30am-9am 1 Peter Bohl
3k, 2k holders 10am-Noon 3
3k, 2k holders Noon-3pm 3
Awards Presentations 2pm-3pm 1
Track Supervisors 3:30pm-5:30pm 1
3k, 2k holders 5:30pm-8pm 3
Shirt sales 5:00pm-7pm 1
Awards Presentations 8:30pm-9:30pm 1
Velodrome clean-up 8:30pm-9:30pm 2

Thursday 9/4
Back Crossing guard 9 am to 3 1
Back Crossing guard 5:30-9:30 pm 1
Velodrome set-up 8:00am-9:00am 1
Track Supervisors 7:30am-9am 1 Peter Bohl
Sprint holders 11am-2pm 1
Track Supervisors 3:30pm-5:30pm 1
Sprint holders 5:30pm-8pm 1
Shirt sales 5:00pm-7pm 1
Awards Presentations 8:30pm-9:30pm 1
Velodrome clean-up 8:30pm-9:30pm 2

Friday 9/5
Back Crossing guard 9 am to 3 1
Back Crossing guard 5:30-9:30 pm 1
Velodrome set-up 8:00am-9:00am 1
Track Supervisors 7:30am-9am 1 Peter Bohl
Sprint holders 11am-2pm 1
Track Supervisors 3:30pm-5:30pm 1
Sprint holders 5:30pm-8pm 1
Shirt sales 5:00pm-7pm 1
Awards Presentations 8:30pm-9:30pm 1
Velodrome clean-up 8:30pm-9:30pm 2

Saturday 9/6
Back Crossing guard 9 am to 3 1
Back Crossing guard 5:30-9:30 pm 1
Velodrome set-up 8:30am-9:30am 1
Track Supervisors 7:30am-9am 1 Peter Bohl
Sprint holders 9am-11am 1
Sprint holders 11am-2pm 1
Awards Presentations 2:00-3:00pm 1
Track Supervisors 3:30pm-5:30pm 1
Sprint holders 5:30pm-8pm 2
Shirt sales 5:00pm-7pm 1
Awards Presentations 8:30pm-9:30pm 1
Event party buy beer & food 1
Event party helper 7 to 10pm 2
Velodrome clean-up 8:30pm-9:30pm 4

Sunday 9/7
Back Crossing guard 9 am to 3 1
Back Crossing guard 5:30-9:30 pm 1
Velodrome set-up 8:30am-9:30am 1
Track Supervisors 7:30am-9am 1 Peter Bohl
Team event holders 10am-Noon 6
Awards Presentations Noon-1pm 1
Awards Presentations 2:30pm-3:30pm 1
Velodrome clean-up 3:00pm-4:30pm 2

Commitment for 8+ hours = one embroidered polo shirt
Commitment for 16+ hours = two embroidered polo shirts

tuesday night track


Tuesday, August 12, 2008

sean, not michael ball, but getting there.

i just received the following email in my inbox from sean at something called "team elevation".
subject line: re: R&R and quads
Thank you so much for your e-mail concerning quad sizes and women's jean design. I am forwarding it on to Michael Ball's attention.

And yes, your blog post was entertaining (and brave)!


Thanks Sean!

Now, I wonder how "" got transfered to ""?! what is team elevation anyway? what does this have to do with rock racing and rock & republic?

i did some sloothing. i went to the following website.
this was all i found out.

1610 Colorado Avenue, Suite 200
Santa Monica, CA 90404

Site Re-Launch: September 12, 2008

For Immediate Information, Contact:
Wesley Mallette, Partner
(310) 562-2821

sloothing did me no good. but let's take some solace in the fact that 1) my first message is being forwarded to mr. ball, and 2) he thought my original blog post about quad measurement was funny and brave.

i wrote sean back the following email:
hello sean!

thanks for writing me back, reading my blog post, sympathizing with my incredible quad/jean-fit-dilemma, and sending my email along to michael ball. you are awesome!

just a few questions for you, though:

1. so how did my email get to you? i sent my original email to then to then i tried that bounced back, as did,, and but you know what did go through?, and but then i realized that perhaps that went to michael CREED, and not michael BALL... so i sent the "obliquitous" michael another email and tried to explain myself and i think i sent another email also.

basically, these were my main points in my follow-up email:

-there are lots of big-quaded athletic girls who would love keirin cut jeans! in fact, lots of us will be in LA oct 1-5 for track nationals, and we can come in one day after that (say october 6th?) to do a sizing proto-type. as this is nationals, our quads should be maxed out for the season, so this will be a good time to measure our huge, muscular legs.

-i have thought of some excellent PR marketing for the keirin cut jeans. this involves a motorcycle (which paces the keirin race), a girl in the new keirin cut jeans wearing white sprinter gloves, straddling a nagasawa. you could even put NJS on the butt pocket, but that might be some copyright violation...

-i also highlighted in my last email that, SADLY, keirin is not an olympic sport for women! but it is for men. doesn't that suck? ironically, the japanese are being accused of bribing UCI $3 million to get it as a sport for men. maybe rock racing could bribe UCI too to get it an olympic sport for women. this would be good for a couple reasons: a) it will show R&R supports equal rights and doesn't objectify women in marketing, b) R&R would be just as influential as the country of japan!, and c) it will get the USA another gold medal, as the standing world champion in the keirin is none other that USA's jennie reed. (btw, she can squat 130 kilos. i know cause i saw a clip of it on facebook.)

2. what is team elevation? how is this related to rock racing and rock & republic. what was the origin of the name? in my personal opinion, i think "elevation" was a genius choice for a name. high elevation training is definitely the new epo. team "high road" and "slipstream" just need to be smarter. being anti-doping doesn't mean anti high red-blood cell count, right?

thanks for your help, sean! i really hope we can work with michael on this exciting new product line.

hugs and kisses,


keirin cut endorsement from the one, the only, karla kingsley.

(This was posted in the comments of a previous post, but I wanted to make sure it got particularly highlighted)

Wow Beth, I love it. Brilliant campaign. I have sent the following to Mr. Michael Ball:
Dear Michael,

I'm told that you're seriously considering adding women's Keirin Cut jeans to your most excellent line of Rock and Republic apparel, after receiving a recommendation from Ms. Beth Newell. I think the Keirin Cut jeans are a brilliant idea, but more importantly, the idea came directly from Ms. Newell. In case you are not aware, Ms. Newell has a history of not only brilliant ideas, but also sound advice, innovative solutions, and intensely successful gorilla marketing. In fact, I keep her on the payroll just to make sure I can call her up whenever I have a work dilemma, romantic issue, or dramatic conflict. So far, she's batting about .950 (the aberration from perfection occurs when she beats my ass at the track). Beth's employers are lucky lucky people, and you must also feel lucky to be the recipient of one of her flashes of brilliance.

I look forward to purchasing a pair of the Rock & Republic Keirin cut jeans!

Karla Kingsley

Monday, August 11, 2008

weekend track haps

so i was pretty pissy this weekend, so apologies to any people i was around and if i was not very fun. let me just say this: racing with two or three people sucks. a lot. where the hell was everyone? the lack of attendance was all just really lame in my opinion. i guess cool that i qualified by default, but who even knows if there are minimum field sizes so that will count. okay, i will not brood anymore for my long, crappy weekend at the track. (no offense to the women who did show- i think we were all equally as frustrated, because such small field sizes is really no fun or a good experience.)

the one awesome part of the weekend was getting some time to ride annabell's bike! i think i neglected to blog about this last week, but annabell is a little angel! she is letting me use her Dolan frame for the year. let me just say this: it is awesome! you go around the turns really fast and you don't have to fight it to stay straight. and you stand up on it and it just feels so solid and doesn't creek and make noise. i never really understood what people meant by a "stiff" bike, cause i only had ridden my bike, but this thing is totally awesome! i have been pretty much gushing about annabell all week and this weekend was no different. i had so much fun testing out this bike and can't wait to really get used to riding it, cause i know that my jump will definitely be better once i figure out how i can put my weight further forward on it.

alright, so the races. saturday was the 500, keirin, points race, team sprint. my 500 was okay i guess. i had a personal best, so i should be happy (40.46), but i was thinking i would be breaking 40 this weekend, so was a bit disappointed. my half lap start was actually the best i had done, but my initial 80 meters off the line was absolutely terrible. borrowed someone's disc wheel, which was not a good idea. got whistled on my first start, cause the axel or something slipped. stuff was wrenched at the line, and then i had a re-start, and i just didn't put it down in my first five pedal strokes. need to really work on my start a lot more. the keirin was with kelly b and ileana. i was a dumbshit and swung up over the red line at one point, really need to get used to this bike, as it is a bit more responsive. i thought kelly would pass me underneath, but she didn't, so i still led it out. points race was just the three of us again. i tried sprinting from lots of different places, coming around early and late, which was good practice i suppose and then broke away the last 5 laps or so.

but the highlight of saturday - and my weekend - was the team sprint! this is a fun event! annabell came all the way to the track and warmed up about 2 hours early to do this with me! what a gem. my initial start off the line was good and we were drawing even, but then when i dropped down behind her, i had a little gap that i needed to close out of the turn 2. then when she pulled off it was like a wind tunnel and i just went as fast as i could to the end. we rode a 52.25, which she said was a really good time. this race was a bunch of fun, and was my saving grace to the weekend.

next day was 200/sprints, scratch race. 200 went way worse than i had hoped for and was the worst time i have had in awhile, 13.4, and i was disappointed. then there were only three of us sprinting, so i had forever til i actually went. i sat in the back of the men's scratch race for half of it to get in a better warmup before the sprints. i sprinted against ileana twice. then her, megan, and i did the scratch race right when we finished. it ended up being a long day, and i didn't get home til around 3:30/4pm.

well, that was the weekend. really wish some women would have showed up, just so we could have raced... i certainly hope that the district race isn't like this. but, it was really awesome to ride that bike and i love it and can't wait to get more comfortable on it.

Friday, August 08, 2008

day 2: still no response.

so, michael ball still hasn't written me back. i even tried a different email address, which also worked!

i hope some of you have emailed him. i see that josh snead emailed him. thanks! it is really nice to have an advocate of women's cycling. to everyone else: I highly suggest you emailing michael with the subject "keirin cut jeans". afterall, advocacy campaigns rarely work when only two people are involved. please email michael. you can post your email in my comments section. or you can post on your blog and link it in my comments section. thanks!

anyway, as i said, i haven't gotten a response. but, goonies never say die, right?

i decided i needed a stronger argument for keirin cut jeans, so thought i'd email michael again. in review, i emailed him at these two addresses:
you can use these too!
hi mr. ball,
(actually, i prefer to be casual, and assume you do to, so i will address to you as michael.)

hi michael!

it's me again, beth. i do hope that you received my previous email about keirin cut jeans. i do realize you are a ceo of a multi-million dollar enterprise, so you probably don't even check your own email and probably one of your really hot, blond assistants with huge boobs is reading this and sending it to the trash...[if that is the case, please please forward this on to mr. ball, who we know so fondly as michael. i bet you have quads that fit into R&R jeans...but i am sure you must have friends or family members who have big quads, so please pass this along for them! i am quite charming in print, and am sure that michael will empathize with my cause, cause he seems like a nice guy! thank you thank you!]

as i said before, there really is a big market for keirin cut jeans-- us big quaded athletic women. but i bet it'd really extend to the masses with the right advertising. i can see the marketing now.... motorcycles in the background, girls with big quads in keirin cut jeans wearing white sprinters gloves straddling a nagasawa? hot!

but, i know, michael, you don't just care about making money! you want to restore cycling as a premier sport in america! that is cool, i think. of course adding "keirin" into the vocabulary of americans would raise interest in track cycling (especially with that white glove, keirin cut jean, nagasawa ad).....

...but it could also be quite influential with cycling's international body, the UCI. how so?

so i don't know how much you keep up with cycling news, but it just came out last week that the japanese "bribed" UCI $3 million dollars for keirin to become an olympic sport. now, keirin is just a men's olympic sport. i think that is pretty bunk, don't you? especially cause our very own jennie reed, is not only the world champion of the keirin, but also can front squat 130 kilos! (i saw the squat on facebook. btw, are you on facebook. if so, will you please accept my friend request? you can be my 365th friend. thanks!) anyway, most people don't care that keirin is not a women's event at the olympics, cause they have never even heard of it! but USA needs another gold medal. with the new and very popular keirin cut jeans, OF COURSE interest will grow. with such an increase in interest in women's keirin, i think you could easily bribe the UCI with just probably about a half a million (to get the women's keirin going), instead of 3 million like the japanese. on the record, that would mean rock and republic really cares about equal rights and could finally dispel all the qualms about "objectifying women" in your marketing. off the record, that would mean the rock and republic is more influential with the international cycling body than the whole country of japan. that could set a good precedent.

so, michael, there is a little added bonus to why you should start making keirin cut jeans. not only will you make lots of women happy and make a lot of money off of it, but it could really spark an interest in the crazy sport of track cycling and could gain R&R some political clout in the UCI.

thanks again, michael. look forward to working with you on this!

hugs and kisses,

i am anxiously awaiting a response. today was "casual jean friday" at work. and guess who isn't wearing jeans. [frown face.]

Thursday, August 07, 2008

day 1: no response yet

michael ball has not yet written me back. my first email i sent to it isn't very likely that such an email will go through. so, being a persistent SOB that i am, i tried some variations of likely email addresses:
all of these bounced back with error messages.

then, i thought to myself: michael ball is a superstar. he wants to be known just by his first name. so i tried and no bounce back! for several minutes i was filled with glee with my successful sloothing. even if i did not get a response, i took joy knowing my email ended up in michael ball's inbox.

but then i thought: perhaps that didn't go to michael ball. i am sure there are other people name "michael" who work there. and then i remembered michael creed rides for rock racing. i "met" michael creed at that encino 400 lap race (or whatever that crazy shit was). by "meet" i mean, i saw him and yelled profanities at him. shit, if you are doing a 400 lap race, you want to be called a "sack of shit", right? he liked it. he blew kissy faces at us when he swung up track.

so, i sent another email to the obliquitous "michael" @ this time, i directed it to mr. creed:

hello, this is beth again.
if this is michael creed, can you please forward that previous email to michael ball? much appreciated, as there are lots of lady track riders who are very anxious for some keirin cut jeans! (michael creed, we saw you at encino last year for that crazy 100k race. we were standing and heckling you between turn 1 and 2.... giving you "hot or not" rating on a 10 point scale. you started making kissy faces at us when pulling off the paceline to increase your score. in fact, we have some pretty funny pictures of you making kissy faces at us during the race.) if this actually is michael ball, we like michael creed. keep him on your team. and please make us some big quaded keirin cut girl jeans! lots of us want them- market is there i promise! i have lots of friends who would be happy to be proto-types for sizing. you could schedule this right after track nationals at ADT oct 1-5, and we will all be down in LA so you can size us up. thank you very much.
alas, no response from either michael ball or michael creed. doing my best to advocate for keirin cut jeans. i suggest you sending an email yourself to with the subject line "keirin cut jeans". we like to do such grassroots advocacy to politicians when trying to push a certain bill forward. no reason the same techniques should not work with keirin cut jeans. please, send an email with you plea! thank you very much.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

R&R and quads

i will let you know if i get a response.....
dear michael ball,

i am a track racer in northern california. as such, i have huge quads. we are talking 63cm quads. of all cycling disciplines, track racers most certainly have the hugest quads. unlike many women, who would continually try to get skinnier legs, i embrace my muscular quads and want them to get even bigger so i can push a bigger gear inch and go faster in my match sprints and keirins. however, as i see it, there are two problems with this continual push to have huge quads. one practical and one mental. i believe R&R could really do wonders for both of these.

as for the practical one, R&R could really help. let's talk about women's jean design and how it makes it very difficult for big quaded women to find jeans. men don't face this problem cause their fit is slightly looser. but, us girls -- especially us athletic sprinter girls who have huge quads and slimmer waists (we'll call that the quad to waist ratio) -- just can't find jeans that fit. since a young sprinter of track & field, i always wanted to make a jean line called "AG JEANS"-- athletic girl jeans. but, my career path steered me elsewhere. however, this desire is not dead. can't you make some jeans that are for big-quaded girls? you see, i measure my quads every week, and they have gone from 58cm in the off season, to 63cm now. that is a pretty large jump, as my muscles have gotten huge. but, as a result, my jeans make me look like a teeny i have to wear skirts now, and i am not really the skirt type of girl. anyway, it'd be sweet if you could make some sprinter friendly jeans. in fact, i think naming jeans after different cycling disciplines would be most excellent, you could call them the "keirin cut" and slim quads you could call the "climber cut."

as for the mental one, this would have to be related to self-image, and R&R could also help. we don't see many huge quaded models out there. in fact, most are skinny legged. now, if i were a hill climber and enjoyed hilly road races, such models would be fine by me. but like i said, i am a track racer, so such skinny-legged models do not support my cycling discipline. it'd be hella cool if you could get some more big-quaded models...cause, let's be real, women's sprinting doesn't exactly have a huge following... and if you could get some change in public perception of big quads in the public media, perhaps more women entering cycling will become sprinters.

well, thanks for your time michael ball. i do hope you look into my most excellent ideas. if you would like to know a little bit more about quad measurements, please look at my blog post. i think you will find it most entertaining.

thanks again-