Friday, August 08, 2008

day 2: still no response.

so, michael ball still hasn't written me back. i even tried a different email address, which also worked!

i hope some of you have emailed him. i see that josh snead emailed him. thanks! it is really nice to have an advocate of women's cycling. to everyone else: I highly suggest you emailing michael with the subject "keirin cut jeans". afterall, advocacy campaigns rarely work when only two people are involved. please email michael. you can post your email in my comments section. or you can post on your blog and link it in my comments section. thanks!

anyway, as i said, i haven't gotten a response. but, goonies never say die, right?

i decided i needed a stronger argument for keirin cut jeans, so thought i'd email michael again. in review, i emailed him at these two addresses:
you can use these too!
hi mr. ball,
(actually, i prefer to be casual, and assume you do to, so i will address to you as michael.)

hi michael!

it's me again, beth. i do hope that you received my previous email about keirin cut jeans. i do realize you are a ceo of a multi-million dollar enterprise, so you probably don't even check your own email and probably one of your really hot, blond assistants with huge boobs is reading this and sending it to the trash...[if that is the case, please please forward this on to mr. ball, who we know so fondly as michael. i bet you have quads that fit into R&R jeans...but i am sure you must have friends or family members who have big quads, so please pass this along for them! i am quite charming in print, and am sure that michael will empathize with my cause, cause he seems like a nice guy! thank you thank you!]

as i said before, there really is a big market for keirin cut jeans-- us big quaded athletic women. but i bet it'd really extend to the masses with the right advertising. i can see the marketing now.... motorcycles in the background, girls with big quads in keirin cut jeans wearing white sprinters gloves straddling a nagasawa? hot!

but, i know, michael, you don't just care about making money! you want to restore cycling as a premier sport in america! that is cool, i think. of course adding "keirin" into the vocabulary of americans would raise interest in track cycling (especially with that white glove, keirin cut jean, nagasawa ad).....

...but it could also be quite influential with cycling's international body, the UCI. how so?

so i don't know how much you keep up with cycling news, but it just came out last week that the japanese "bribed" UCI $3 million dollars for keirin to become an olympic sport. now, keirin is just a men's olympic sport. i think that is pretty bunk, don't you? especially cause our very own jennie reed, is not only the world champion of the keirin, but also can front squat 130 kilos! (i saw the squat on facebook. btw, are you on facebook. if so, will you please accept my friend request? you can be my 365th friend. thanks!) anyway, most people don't care that keirin is not a women's event at the olympics, cause they have never even heard of it! but USA needs another gold medal. with the new and very popular keirin cut jeans, OF COURSE interest will grow. with such an increase in interest in women's keirin, i think you could easily bribe the UCI with just probably about a half a million (to get the women's keirin going), instead of 3 million like the japanese. on the record, that would mean rock and republic really cares about equal rights and could finally dispel all the qualms about "objectifying women" in your marketing. off the record, that would mean the rock and republic is more influential with the international cycling body than the whole country of japan. that could set a good precedent.

so, michael, there is a little added bonus to why you should start making keirin cut jeans. not only will you make lots of women happy and make a lot of money off of it, but it could really spark an interest in the crazy sport of track cycling and could gain R&R some political clout in the UCI.

thanks again, michael. look forward to working with you on this!

hugs and kisses,

i am anxiously awaiting a response. today was "casual jean friday" at work. and guess who isn't wearing jeans. [frown face.]


Mothrarising said...

Hi Beth,

I'm Lisa from North Carolina and am a big fan of your blog...I am not a track racer, I mostly dabble in mtb racing and some cross, and my quads are a puny 55 cm.

But, it occurs to me that women hockey players might also be interested in your idea, though they might object to the style names. You could throw them a puck, though, and have one style called Zamboni....just a thought about another constituency to enlist in the effort!!!

lauren said...

i wrote him.

but not because i necessarily want jeans like that. (i'm small quaded.)

i wrote because i support you and your quad cause.

and lisa's right. you may want to combine causes with other like quaded women.

jAndy donka-donk said...

I was thinking about this....

and you should dig around at salvation army and find a set of those jeans all the ladies wore in my jr high days, the stretchy ones with the zippers in the back....

with your quads that would actually be pretty hot....

If you do it I will start pegging my jeans again. And wearing a hat tilted back while styling the part of my bangs that show...


liquidwrench said...

My guess is that we're not going to get a response from this guy. We can argue that creating jeans for women who race the track or crits will give him more legitimacy as a cycling brand, but I think we all know that "at the end of the day" (as Ball likes to say) his jeans are for porn stars, strippers and anorexics with a lot of disposable income.

I also get the impression that this guy can't really take much of a ribbing and although the concept of a full range of sizes for his pants is hardly a joke, I'm pretty sure he'll consider it one.

I also think it's likely that he was mercilessly picked on as a youngster, hence his insane megalomania as fashion overlord. Short of extensive counseling and therapy, I think an approach like this is exactly what he should be forced to consider if he's going to be involved in the cycling world. What an excellent campaign you've started, Beth!

TreBone said...

JAndy wrote- "If you do it I will start pegging my jeans again. And wearing a hat tilted back while styling the part of my bangs that show..."

If Beth starts wearing those stretchy jeans and you start pegging your pants with the hat on backwards, I'll turn my Starter jacket inside out, rock the jheri curl and start doing The Wop and Michael Ball can kiss our 80's lovin asses!

Or... we can start our own Keirin Cut label. Hmmmmmm.

Audra Marie said...

Damn girl, you need some Applebottom jeans. You can fit in them. I've seen some real thick juicy curves in those jeans. I'm talking like, reallll superthick. Plus they have the advantage of making your butt look mad bootylicious.

Just in case this guy doesn't come through.

TreBone said...

Yes, go with the Applebottoms. Anything that can make someone's butt look "mad bootylicious" gets my vote!

velogirl said...


karla said...

Wow Beth, I love it. Brilliant campaign. I have sent the following to Mr. Michael Ball:

Dear Michael,

I'm told that you're seriously considering adding women's Keirin Cut jeans to your most excellent line of Rock and Republic apparel, after receiving a recommendation from Ms. Beth Newell. I think the Keirin Cut jeans are a brilliant idea, but more importantly, the idea came directly from Ms. Newell. In case you are not aware, Ms. Newell has a history of not only brilliant ideas, but also sound advice, innovative solutions, and intensely successful gorilla marketing. In fact, I keep her on the payroll just to make sure I can call her up whenever I have a work dilemma, romantic issue, or dramatic conflict. So far, she's batting about .950 (the aberration from perfection occurs when she beats my ass at the track). Beth's employers are lucky lucky people, and you must also feel lucky to be the recipient of one of her flashes of brilliance.

I look forward to purchasing a pair of the Rock & Republic Keirin cut jeans!

Karla Kingsley