visits and visitors

an avc post is in order... actually, 2 avc posts are in order, but that requires going through the oodles of pictures, and i don't have time for that.

well, that is a lie.

if there is one thing i do have, it is time.  i have had a ridiculous amount of time today and this week.  mostly, because i am not really riding my bike.  

apparently my little bounce on the concrete during the scratch race has somehow messed me up more than i thought, considering my left knee is about 1.5-2 times the size of my right knee, despite me giving myself freezer burn with the ice pack and getting a bit too frisky compressing with the ace bandage.

trying to make an appointment at kaiser is somewhat challenging.  despite trying to make an appointment for friday or monday, they tell you you have to go to the ER...and when you say: "it's not really an emergency, this happened 5 days ago" -- they coax you into going, saying: no, no. there is a minor injury clinic inside the ER...it's not really the ER.  but that is a lie.  there is no minor injury co-pay.  there is only an ER co-pay.  

i really wouldn't mind that so much, if there was actually a point in seeing the doctor.  but there wasn't a point.  unless you call that being scolded and patronized in the exam room.  i kinda wanted to tell the doctor-- who i don't even know his name, because he never bothered to introduced himself-- 'i have several people who i could have called to say shitty things about me, and i am sure they would have only charged $50'...but of course i didn't say that because i am a big pushover.

but what did i do when he left?  i cried like a baby in the exam room.  then i went home and called to make an appointment with an acupuncturist.  take that.   

so i wake up this morning and don't really feel like getting dressed...or brushing my hair...or teeth...so i don't.  and then around 9:30 my doorbell rings. so i put my hoodie on over my tank top to look decent; i hobble down the stairs, hoping that it will take too long and the visitors will leave.  but they don't.

two middle age men stand at the door with the Awake! magazine.  

"hello"

"excuse me, ma'am.  but can i interest you in a magazine on depression?"

"uh, no thanks" and i close the door.

i realize i look like shit, but isn't that a bit presumptuous? 

to be effective jehovah witnesses, those guys need to work on their delivery.

noon-time rolls around and it is time for my acupuncture appointment.  i have never been to acupuncture.  i am excited.  this week, i remembered we have a chiropractic/acupuncture employee benefit at work, that i have been apparently paying for since i started working at my job, but have yet to use.  so i decide to finally make an appointment.

 

i don't really know what i would expect going to acupuncture, but it definitely wasn't filling out no less than 12 pieces of paper asking my name, address, insurance #.... all with said: date: ____, _____  19____.

in the "lobby" he said: stick out your tongue.  so i did.  and he looked at it for .05 seconds.  then i told him i have "bursitis of the knee", and he took me to the back and stuck some needles in it after poking it and asking me where it hurt.  then he stuck some more in my shoulder and hand, after asking if those hurt, which they did, cause i fell there too.  then he left.  and i laid there. 

and laid there.

and, i laid there.

as i was laying, i was hoping the needles would hurt.  i discovered if you kinda moved around a bit, they would give you that nice pleasant pain, so i'd jiggle, but then even jiggling didn't make an ache.  and i felt gypped.  i wanted some pain.  i thought needles would give a nice mild pain sensation, but that wasn't the case.  i was bored, so, i listened to some woman in the next curtain over moan in quite a fashion, which made me feel like i was getting again gypped.  so instead i went to sleep, cause this was just a waste of time.

over an hour later, he came back.   he took out the needles and asked me if it felt better, and i just said yes, because i didn't want to say no, and then him make me lie there another hour.the coffee shop was close by, and that sounded much more appealing.  then he got some herbs in some nasty paste and slapped them on my knee and told me that this was going to reduce the swelling.  and they smelled really bad, but i didn't care so much, because i haven't showered for a few days anyway.  then he told me to come back on monday: "i'll call to schedule my follow-up appointment...."  yep.

and then i sat with smelly herbs on my knee for the majority of today, which i definitely don't think are doing anything....but at least the guy wasn't a prick.  

honestly, i am kind of regretting not taking that Awake! magazine from the Jehova's cause they don't even charge a copay.

i am on a poster!

lots of course to write about the AMERICAN VELODROME CHALLENGE...

but quickly-- look-- I am on the Alpenrose poster.

see, that is me sitting 2nd wheel with the proman jersey, red bike, green helmet, and pigtails.

i've never been on a poster before. how do i get one these in print?

do you ever wonder what motivates larry nolan?

we all know this face:

the open-mouthed, head-clocked to the side, pain face of larry nolan.

the question, is: do you ever wonder what motivates him? do you wonder what it is he listens to on his ipod to get into the zone?  or what little song he is singing to himself when he is hammering with his mouth open?

for those of us at the points racing tuesday, i think we found out.  

larry had quite an ...eclectic.... mix of music playing over the speakers.  and the two that summed up larry's pump up mix were:

#1. the theme song to the lion king

that's right-- just picture the beautiful scenery in that disney classic.  animals in the jungle, the panning out on the desert, and then-- boom, the music: AYYYYYYYYYYYYY  KEEEBEEEEENYAHHHHHHHHHH, BADAAAA  EEEEEEESSSSEEEEMMMMMOOOOOOOO.. [backround: bennnnn yay....ayyy ooo]  {repeat}  AYYYY   KEEEEBEEENYAHHHH,  BADAAAAEEESEEEE(a bit higher pitched here)EMMMOOOO, [background: Bennnyaayyyy oooooo]  enter: drum beats.  start chant:  ingeeeyammmma, ingeee ingeee anmmmma,  ingeeeyammma igeee ingeee ammaaa. 

of course, then the elton john chorus starts, but i like to think it is this dramatic opening act that the nolanator likes best.

#2. the electric slide

yes, i did say the electric slide.  can't see the nolanator doing the boooogiie wooogie woogie down?  well, to be honest, i can't quite picture it either.  but he must dig it, cause he didn't even have the traditional wedding song electric slide compilation on his pump-up mix.  it was definitely a cover or a toned-down, less twangy remix, or something of that nature.  and when you have that much love to find an off-the-beaten path musical compilation of "the electric slide"-- you know that someone must really love him some line dancing.

well, as for the actual points races-- i was just looking to get in a good workout, which i did.  i didn't really go for any sprints, except for the very last one of the last race...cause i figured, what the heck.  actually, some dude was just really pissing me off during the race, and i just wanted to dust him-- so i kinda accidently got a point on the last lap....  which moved me from an "and also" in the results to actually being on the score board with one point.  other than that, i followed some good attacks and made a good bridge or two, but nothing quite notable about my racing.

what was notable was my drive home.  i pulled some questionable passing maneuvers, but set a personal best on the "hellyer to home" drive, clocking 42 minutes.  that is bad ass.  trust me.

girls rule, boys drool

so what's better than getting 2nd place?

well, getting 1st place.

.....but, what's next best?

getting 2nd place to a bunch of boys.

bahaha. sure, the field was a bit smaller than normal and many of the heavy hitters weren't there to beat up on me, but all in all, it was still a pretty solid day, so that is good.

this was the last "get ready for summer" race at the track promoted by rick adams. what a blast they have been! we started off with the keirin, and my goal was to *make it* to the finals. that didn't happen. but, i rode a really good first round, which i determine because i got 3rd in my heat of 6, and was right by 2nd place guy... this put me in the rep. our rep round was with 8 people, and i let myself get pushed around a bunch, and that stunk, so i didn't make it to the final. but at least i had an okay first round......next we had the scratch race. someone was off the front for a long time, then we caught him, and then mateo made an attack with a few laps to go. he held it off for the win, just barely as sam had a very good last 2 laps. i was lucky to be in pretty good position the last couple of laps, and while i couldn't hang on sam's wheel, i did get on some davis guys wheel, who then i came around to get 3rd.....then was the miss 'n out. for some reason, i have been doing pretty good at this race recently, despite it originally being my worst race. it started off blisteringly fast, but then eased up, and i was sitting in good position, had to play the devil a couple of times, but made it thankfully to the last 3. i knew the guys who i were riding with were faster than me, so i was hoping i could take them long-- thinking they might be tired, so i jumped on the bell lap for a long lap sprint, and held them off-- so that was rad!

last up was the madison.

tim brennan was my partner for the race. i got us the awesome polka dotted jerseys for us-- and asked him what our team name was....which he replied: team beth? i said that wasn't okay, cause that is reserved for me and welliver. so i decided i'd call us: team shit-talkers, cause that is pretty much was do with tim-- threaten him and tell him how i am going to beat tim in the keirin.... although i never do, that doesn't stop me from shit-talking.

we did a couple of madison throws for practice and then were ready to rock 'n roll.

i started off the race and was okay, then i threw him in, and that was fine, then he threw me in, and i was on some wheels still, and i come around and tim is just sittin' and chillin' at the wall, and i'm like, "tim!" so that means i have to go like another lap or something....and i am totally gassed out to begin with, and everyone else is exchanging, and then i pop off the back. so when i come through the next time, tim is going super slow at the rail, and i am feeling pretty damn desperate at this time and probably displayed my most ever agro-race persona: "TIM- GO FASTER! TIIIIIIM--- COME DOWN!!!!!" and probably yelled more. this of course happened right at the start-finish line, so everyone heard me scream at the top of my lungs at him, and i could hear matt and rick make fun of me on the microphone. he thankfully didn't forget anymore exchanges. however, we were off the back at that point, so we just exchanged cleanly and had fun. before the race rick told me that i was in 2nd place for the omnium, but was very close to first, if i beat sam in the madison. however, tim and i got last place. which was okay, cause although we sucked, we at least looked good with the polka dotted jerseys. so that was my sunday race.

saturday i also raced-- goldenstate criterium. well, to be honest, the race kinda sucked. sucked in the sense that is was crazy fast and i think we were single file for most of it, so if felt more like a 40 minute motopacing session, rather than a race where anything happened. there were only 12 of us and we averaged 25mph, which is pretty crazy. marley smith is pretty much an ox on wheels and really wouldn't let anyone else take a pull, as she just hammered away at the front. and she still won every preme and took the win! wow, it was so amazing! i was in good position into the last turn, on the inside, but had to tap my brakes cause i started to get pinched by someone. and then i guess i was in some stupid big gear, and everything felt slow-mo after i tapped by brakes, being in that stupid big gear, so i pretty much sucked and got 4th. more notable, though, was i got home and was so incredibly wiped-- i felt like such a big piece of shit, so i took a nap, and woke up feeling like more shit (if that was possible), and then i slept 10 hours last night. that crit really took it out of me, but i felt great this morning and happily could put in a good track race with the boys (and cece and ashley!) - so i am glad saturday didn't totally cook me, like i thought it did.

cheated

do you ever feel cheated?

...like when you take the orange juice out of the refrigerator and all that pours out is a measly half inch of crappy pulp.

...or like when you find out your post-college boyfriend is cheating on you with a freshman.

...or like when you carry the trash down to the garage, only to find that your trash can is full from your neighbor and you have get your hands all nasty questionably squeezing things in.

i could go on-- obviously.  

but you know what i feel cheated about this week?  my quads.  i measured and they are at a pathetic 59cm.  what gives?

do you know what i've been doing to my quads lately? i have been squatting massing amounts of weights, i have been deadlifting like 165 pounds, i've been jumping up on boxes 38 inches high.  all this, and my quads are 59cm?!

totally bogus.

hats and far west championship

we all rolled into socal with one goal in mind: hellyer clean up. i think between burger continental and the far west championships, we accomplished that.

pre-game

i knew it was going to be an incredibly fun trip-- i mean, with the one, two punch of studley and maurice-- how couldn't it be?

hanan and ben arrived at my house friday morning, setting the tone for an amazing road trip, outfitted in some pretty absurd hats. hanan was so kind as to bring a whole bag of hat selections. i was given the wwi-type hat, affixed with ear flaps. we loaded the car and headed out on our way. the first gas-fill up stop was pretty awesome. not only did we make friends with someone else who had an incredible hat, but hanan and i also took in the amazing central valley scenery.

please observe awesome hat.

the rest of the car ride was extremely eventful, as we spent approximately 4 hours playing "shoot, fuck, or marry". yes, there were some amazing combination that led to thought provoking conversations. those, however, will be left within the pickup.

after arriving at steph's house, we found an amazing restaurant called burger continental. from the outside, you'd think it was just a burger place...but you walk in and you see the most amazing middle eastern salad bar, which comes with every huge proportioned meal. there wsa also a band that rocked the three level keyboard. and just when we didn't think it could get any better, the belly dancer came out! i am still in awe of how much food i ate that night. it was heroic. my rationale? stock piling for the next day.

the race:

let me just say-- the far west championship was awesome! alfred nash is not only a great organizer, but sweet announcer. we were super bummed by the crappy turnout. i don't know why more people wouldn't go to the race-- it ruled! our field size was only five, and then men's was 7 or 8. but those small fields didn't stop us from racing hard. it was an international omnium, which meant the events were a 200, scratch, 2k, points, 500-- and you tried to accumulate the least amount of points.

our field was comprised of hanan, me, jen reither - a woman who races with the nrc vanderkitten team, and two sprinter women, cj and shane who i met before. it was going to be some good racing.

i was pleasantly surprised by my 200m-13.37, cause it was a new track and i have been sprinting really slow recently. this time got me first.

hanan and i pretty much worked it over in the mass start events. in the scratch race, i attacked early and then hanan countered and stayed out there forever, as i was blocking for her. when we did catch, it was about 3-4 to go, and i countered and launched a big attack, staying away to the finish. at this point, i was the leader with two first places.

however, i was pretty nervous about the pursuit-- cause, i have no clue how to do these things. i only had done one other 2k (at last years international omnium) and have never practiced my pacing. i was the only one without aero bars for this event. the guy with pistols tatooed on his calves let me borrow his aero helmet. thanks! i just focused on not going out to hard and keeping it steady, then tried to pick it up the last three laps. it really helped having ben, maurice, hanan, and nole yell at me in all the turns. my time was a 2:51, which i don't really know how that is, but it got me 2nd in the pursuit. jen came in first with a 2:50. after i saw her time, i was super happy, cause she looked really fast when i was watching her! and i know she is legit, after i saw her bridge up to the break at the ToC crit this year.

before the points race, hanan was not the happiest camper and almost threw in the towel, as she was having some mechanical issues. she couldn't get her aero bars off her bike because of some compression nut problem, and all of our boys were racing their points race. no fear, we got the announcer to solicit some help, and we fixed hanan's bars. there was no way i was going let her punk out on racing when our field size was so pathetic. i was in pretty good shape to win the omnium at that point (with two firsts and a second), unless something crazy happened, so figured i'd try to move hanan up in her placings. points racing is pretty fun, when you are trying to get other people points. hanan, jen, and i got away from the field pretty early on. i spent the whole race pretty much riding jen up and down the track, so hanan could get a clean attack and get away for the sprint laps. it was pretty fun, but i don't think i made a friend in the process. hanan won that race and i got second, surprisingly considering i wasn't even paying attention to my points.

my 500m was so-so...my start was not very good, and i felt pretty sluggish sprinting, but still had a 40.8, which i can't complain about after that long day. that was okay for 2nd in that event. so i got first overall, which was really cool-- cause i've had a plauge of second places this year!

the boys did equally as well-- (except for their 200m). ben won the omnium, with maurice in 3rd and nole in 4th. the crazy, thing, though, was how close it was. had nole gotten a couple places higher in an event, he would have been first. jimmy watkins got second place. he pretty much owned them in the 200m and the match sprints the boys decided to join. that was kind of cool to watch. nole and jimmy lapped the field in the scratch race. then in the points race, nole cleaned up and won it. ben and maurice got lots of 2nd and 3rds throughout the day to get them on the podium, while jimmy won three events and got near last in the 2k and points race. the guys' kilo times were all within hundreths of a second from each other. all in all, definitely a great day for hellyer!

here are our awesome podium shots. note the hats.

jen reither had a pretty awesome skirt. and i didn't even have to tell her it was "crazy hat" podium picture. she definitely gets awesome points in my book.

and there isn't much to say about this picture except gawk at maurice's hands.

the after party

so after we totally cleaned up at the omnium, we did what we had to do. go eat at burger continental. it was equally as awesome. maurice danced and showed up the belly dancer, which was pretty awesome. not to mention our totally rockin' waitress who told us a bar to go to.

i won't give too many details of the after party - because i can't really remember them - but i would just like to put in a plug for skins. even after a day of hard racing, if you go out to party-- you should definitely rock the skins under the skirt. in the dark of a bar, it kinda looks like that skirt and leggings look. i believe the skins allowed me to do crazy-ass dance moves, that otherwise would have been impossible. i know because hanan kept telling me: "wow! how do you move so fast!?!" i would like to say it is because of evenings at thursday's bar & lounge in akron, ohio. i may be the worst dancer in the world, but i do have mad heart. i even challenged some guys to a pushup contest on the dance floor, but of course, skins had nothing to do with that. the only downside of skins-- which they really should work on their technology-- is i had a crazy amount of drunken bruises the next day. oops.

conclusion to a weekend of champions

we went to pie & burger for breakfast, where maurice had the whole restaurant laughing in the elegant way he excused himself from the table to go to the bathroom. (read: did the splits over nole's head). then we began the journey home. for some dumbass reason, i had pre-reged for the memorial day crit on monday, and my motivation to do a stupid crit after such a fun weekend was pretty nominal. what can i say about memorial day crit? it was an excellent recovery ride.

and that is the conclusion to the weekend of the far west championship.  many thanks to my excellent travel companions! 

press release

you may have seen this:

PROMAN Sends Hanan Alves Hyde and Christen King to Encino Far West Championships

Hanan Alves Hyde, winner of the 2008 Martinez Criterium and the 2007 Western Collegiate Championship Criterium, and Christen King, 2007 Scratch Race National Track Champion, have been named by the The PROMAN Women's Cycling Team as participants in the John Fitzpatrick and Dave Staub Memorial Far West Championships, to be held May 23rd & 24th at the Encino Velodrome.

Details about the John Fitzpatrick and Dave Staub Memorial Far West Championships are available at http://EncinoVelodrome.Org/FarWest

unfortunately, they edited out the next paragraphs. posting here for all those disgruntled by the popular press.....

Accompanying Alves-Hyde will be her roommate Ben Stern, driver of the yellow bus and owner of the only aero-helmet. This helmet will be shared by five people for three time trials each over the course of the weekend. (Yes, that is fifteen races in that hat, my friends) Accompanying Alves-Hyde and Stern in the yellow bus, will be Beth Newell. Alves-Hyde and Newell will be leg wrestling on Friday morning to determine who will be sitting bitch the entire six hours down to LA. Newell is also known for her world-famous quads and for beating Nole Studley during his first race at Hellyer velodrome back in July 2007. Studley will also be joining this crew and looks to clean up during the mass start races with his sausage-like physique. The final person to be traveling with Alves-Hyde, Stern, Newell, and Studley will be Maurice "twinkle toes" Monge. You may remember him from his stellar performance in the Nutcracker, or perhaps for how fast he is delivering pizza's on his bike. If not, then you surely remember him for his red spandex shorts, which he will hopefully be wearing for the Far West. Alves-Hyde, Monge, Newell, Stern, and Studley represent 90% of Hellyer's population between the ages of 20 and 30. And they look forward to some SoCal asswhooping to honor their elders this weekend, who will sadly not be accompanying them.