PROMAN Sends Hanan Alves Hyde and Christen King to Encino Far West Championshipsunfortunately, they edited out the next paragraphs. posting here for all those disgruntled by the popular press.....
Hanan Alves Hyde, winner of the 2008 Martinez Criterium and the 2007 Western Collegiate Championship Criterium, and Christen King, 2007 Scratch Race National Track Champion, have been named by the The PROMAN Women's Cycling Team as participants in the John Fitzpatrick and Dave Staub Memorial Far West Championships, to be held May 23rd & 24th at the Encino Velodrome.
Details about the John Fitzpatrick and Dave Staub Memorial Far West Championships are available at http://EncinoVelodrome.Org/FarWest
Accompanying Alves-Hyde will be her roommate Ben Stern, driver of the yellow bus and owner of the only aero-helmet. This helmet will be shared by five people for three time trials each over the course of the weekend. (Yes, that is fifteen races in that hat, my friends) Accompanying Alves-Hyde and Stern in the yellow bus, will be Beth Newell. Alves-Hyde and Newell will be leg wrestling on Friday morning to determine who will be sitting bitch the entire six hours down to LA. Newell is also known for her world-famous quads and for beating Nole Studley during his first race at Hellyer velodrome back in July 2007. Studley will also be joining this crew and looks to clean up during the mass start races with his sausage-like physique. The final person to be traveling with Alves-Hyde, Stern, Newell, and Studley will be Maurice "twinkle toes" Monge. You may remember him from his stellar performance in the Nutcracker, or perhaps for how fast he is delivering pizza's on his bike. If not, then you surely remember him for his red spandex shorts, which he will hopefully be wearing for the Far West. Alves-Hyde, Monge, Newell, Stern, and Studley represent 90% of Hellyer's population between the ages of 20 and 30. And they look forward to some SoCal asswhooping to honor their elders this weekend, who will sadly not be accompanying them.