unfortunately, psychosomatics only get you so far.
well, let us back track to the two days prior to the ides of march...
saturday, march 13.
we woke up at o-dark-o'clock to get down to madera for the criterium. considering how much i loved sleeping the two weeks prior, this was not a happy wake up. but i faked it, cause michael was kind enough to drive me and be my bitch all weekend.
after the coffee kicked in, i was excited for my bitch slappin' weekend. form, shwarm. anemia, shnanemia. yay bikes! rah rah!
so because my awesome bell lap team kits have not yet arrived [i swear to god i am going to have a matching jersey and bibs this year...], i get to play the game of "what do i want to wear today?"
now, some people-- (cou--anthony eng--gh) like to give me grief about my rotating outfits. that is because he is a big loser. don't give me grief for racing in hand-me-down chamois! i don't even have two of anything! no, i am not trying to fool anyone. people can tell who i am by my big quads and snazzy orange bar tape and tire sidewalls. what more do you want from me?
anyway, so because this was three races in two days, i got to pick out three different outfits. lucky me!
race 1: criterium
attire: lauren haughey's old team oakland kit. now, lauren gave this to me probably 2 years ago. it instantenously became my favorite outfit, because:
- i felt super official wearing it because the shorts and shirts were a unified combo. as in, an official team uniform! (although i wasn't on this team)
- it was orange! yay orange!
- i love team oakland! they are my homeboys.
check out my awesome warm-up roller skills. ....oh yeah, i brought a trainer to madera. scratch that.
okay, the race. let's see. all in all, it kinda sucked. mostly cause 2 fields were being run on the course at the same time and we combined in the last few laps and mayhem ensued. i didn't even sprint at the end, as it was so chaotic. the highlight of my race was getting a 5 second bonus prime by pretending i was riding a miss 'n out. this 5 seconds will be super important later.
race 2: time trial
attire: unnattached kit. yeah, click on that link. for real, click on it! see that is me right on the home page! now that is fame! he did photoshop that picture a lot to make me look super awesome and fast. but i am okay with that. he also made my ugly green helmet white. a lot of you might appreciate that. thanks michael for the new white helmet!
okay, yeah, the time trial. now i was super ready for it! i had borrowed tom fahey's aero bars and figured out a super sweet aero position. unfortuantely, i couldn't really ride in this position cause i hurt my hip a few weeks early. i also borrowed neighbor stephanie hseih's stupid hat. and i was wearing a skinsuit. that means business. i was ready to go fast. that, and i had 5 second time bonus going in the time trial.
now i realize i wasn't perhaps in the best form going in, but i wasn't going to let a little low iron get me down. i had mad heart for that race. i was rested and i was pissed off about that crit and i was excited to go as hard as could cause i hadn't done that in awhile, so yeah! time trial!
in fact, i was so ready to CRUSH, i figured i would give people a three minute head start....
uh huh, that is what i said. 3 minute head start..... ya know, cause i wanted the road race to be exciting.
unfortunately, i misjudged a bit.
now, how exactly i was three minutes late to my start time is still kind of beyond me, as i thought i had 5 minutes to spare. and i had biked down earlier to check the time and see how long it would take me.
anyway,when i found out i was 3 minutes late i had a shocked and disheartened look on my face;the official looked at me and said, "well, go." so i went. i was so happy i had that 5 seconds in my favor. that meant i was only 2 minutes and 55 seconds late.
anyway, as you can see, the first day of stage racing was a bit of a bummer....as is indicitive by my hair in the below picture.
interlude: juice diet
saturday, march 13 wasn't all bad. i learned one thing: i am super thin!
so before the crit two people told me i was thin. this is kind of an awkward thing hear, and not really knowing how to respond, i of course make a joke back: "i'm on a juice diet." as i found out, people's reactions to this statement were even more awkward, as they looked at me like i was serious (crazy, but serious), and then i had to make it clear that i was joking about the juice diet. and then there was that awkward pregnant pause of: oh, you made a joke and it didn't get it and it wasn't funny. ....yeah....i guess i learned an important lesson. don't joke with roadies about the absurdity of being on a diet, because they will most likely believe you.
bill nicely believed me that i was on a juice diet. but he didn't believe me when i told him i was a climber.
sunday, march 14.
race 3: road race
attire: the previous week i found a great deal at eden bicycle shop in castro valley. on sale capo bibs for $30. actually, michael found them, not me. but i tried them and bought them. super duper! and they looked pretty cool and made my quads look big, so i liked that. a lot. also, bonus that the chamois was super nice and plush. oo la la. so i decided to wear those for the road race and on top, i wore my plain black jersey. the navy blue and black didn't match so well, but what can you do?
here is me sporting my sweet new shorts. poor karla has on team white shorts. HA! i think that is kinda like in high school track when there was always that one school that didn't have shorts but wore bun huggers. and of course i would make fun of them wearing bun huggers....that is until i went to college and had to wear bun huggers on the track team.
anyway, so i had an omelet for breakfast and was ready to rock n roll in the road race. i surprisingly wasn't last place after my TT debacle! actually, i didn't care much about the road race at all-- i just wanted to ride super hard and have lots of fun.
unfortunately, this was not in other people's race plans. in fact, i think their race plan was: 'make beth not have fun and not go fast.' it was perhaps the least fun race ever. ...topped only by that 5 person reverse win 'n out on the track that turned into a track standing contest. (note: i can't track stand) this race was faster than track standing. barely.
i think the slow and negative race really came down to peoples' breakfast choices. on the start line, i did a poll, and was shocked to hear what people had. oatmeal, cheerios, a cliff bar and some fruit. (those were separate answers, one person didn't eat all of that). we had 70 miles ahead of us! no wonder everyone was such a sissy pants! perhaps i wouldn't have been so energetic if i had had less breakfast.
i think the highlight of my race actually when we stopped to pee. i had never done that before. (that is, pee en group on the side of the road.) it was actually a great time to pee, because some geezer field had just passed us, but then slowed down and we were about to pass them back. this was going to be annoying for the next few laps, so the pee break was great timing. except after the pee break, we almost caught them again. this is when i told the cool moto ref to zoom up there and tell the old guys to grow a ball or two. he zoomed up to them, and i don't know if he completed my instructions, but they did speed up.
anyway, everyone seemed content to keep their GC placing and no one wanted to go with any attacks and everything got chased down, and then sat up... blah blah blah. oh, but i did get some really awesome race advice: "beth, you really aren't going to get away and are just tiring yourself out. if you want to get in a break, you should really tell someone before you are going to attack."
so, yeah, the race was dumb. when the rollers started before the finish line, tyler jumped away. i was a few people back and in bad position... so it was either try and bridge across (if i could, which was unlikely at that point) and probably drag people with me, or move up for the final hill sprint. i did the later, so got second. /yeehaw./ please observe the sarcasm. it was a long and boring race.
as you can tell, it wasn't exactly a great weekend of racing for me, but i think i at least got some good training in. so that is what i really wanted. plus, i met some nice folks, so that is always fun!
et tu brute?
why march 15th was a stab in the back? had i really killed it the prior weekend, i would have expected to feel like a piece of shit. ...but i didn't really kill it-- and i still felt like a piece of shit! in fact, in the whole weekend of racing, there was probably 30 minutes of hard riding-- between the time trial and the finish of the road race. so why i was feel so exhausted was quite disheartening.
well, that is it friends, the ides of march.
next up: 'life in review: volume 4--out like a lamb'. this is the final addition of my catch up. that means everything next week will be in real time. (or at least pretty close to it.). i know, the excitement must be overwhelming.