Friday, January 08, 2010

open letter to 7-eleven

dear 7-eleven,

i am having a hard time figuring you out. your relationship to biking that is. as someone who rides bikes, should i consider you an friend or foe?

sure, i do realize that you supported a kinda big deal cycling team awhile back... and i do realize that sometimes your store comes in very handy... like when you are out on a long ride and bonking and really need a stale doughnut or piece of beef jerky....

but, i really have to question the slurpee.... making me believe that 7-eleven is really a biker's foe.

what am i talking about?

january 7, 2010. 9:00pm. i am biking home from the team tufunga gym, heading east on 40th st, just crossing telegraph avenue in oakland, california. there are some young men idling on the corner, all drinking slurpees. as i bike by, one boy removes the lid of this 44oz slurpee and tosses the contents of the cherry flavor all over me and my bike.

now nothing makes someone feel quite so lame as getting a slurpee thrown on them. not to mention, this then resulted in me having to: 1) clean my bike, and 2) shower -- two things i *really* hate doing. (although i do admit i did have a few tastes of slurpee off my top tube on the way home, and that was quite yummy)

so why am i blaming you, 7-eleven, for their behavior, and not their juvenile delinquent selves...or the cheap-ass weed they were probably on that caused them to buy the slurpee in the first place?

that point is clear in my mind, 7-eleven.

c'mon -- 44oz of slurpee? why do you make a 44-oz cup? it's like 2 bucks for that much slurpee. and you know people won't be able to drink it all. thus, bad things are likely to happen with that extra slurpee... and moreover, let's be honest, that amount of high fructose corn syrup causes crack-like behaviors in individuals. at some point, throwing slurpee remnants at passer-byers does become the logical course of action.

so, 7-eleven. what's the deal? 44 oz cups are only created for trouble. and of course you buy that size and not the 12 oz size because it is only like 55cents more.

as compensation for my emotional scarring, i would very much like a life-time free slurpee card, usable at any 7-eleven establishment worldwide. thank you for this consideration.

with warm regards,



beth said...

i'll let you know what i hear...

We thank you for your interest in 7-Eleven, Inc.

Request Type: Miscellaneous/General
Request Number: 1001080837
Request Description:Request For Local Sponsorship

Print this page for your own record.

Cheflandria said...

an interestingly strange way to request for sponsorship...

Krista said...

lol. Wow. Im interested to hear what they say.