Wednesday, April 29, 2009

a total disgrace

so it was brought to my attention that michael ball apparently thinks it is cool to make rock & republic maternity jeans-- but not rock & republic keirin cut jeans?!


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

studley, it's ON.

wednesday nights are back, baby!  god, am i SO happy track racing is starting.  road is so...... i dunno..... boring.

at my first road race this year everyone is all like: "oh wow, you are going to do a *road* race-- well, good luck" -- as if i was incapable of riding 50 miles.  no, i'm not incapable. road races are just *boring*.  thank god all that road mumbo jumbo is over, now, and the real racing season begins!

so because i placed 5th in the scratch race, that meant i got to do the combined A/B points race for 40 laps (instead of the combined B/C race for 20 laps).  

so i informed studley of this and told him: "nole! we are racing together again!  remember that time i beat you in an omnium?"  this was when we had both first started racing.  it was my 3rd track race ever, and his 1st.  i like to remind nole of this every now and again, to keep it real.
let's review that night: july 18, 2007

i beat nole in the omnium... two scratch races and the combined B/C points race.  he beat me in the miss n out.
but this time, i got some more details from nole on how he remembers the evening.

"beth, you know what i remember the most about that race?  it was the last sprint and someone comes around me in the last straight away and i think: 'daaaaamn, that's a big ass' as i was getting passed... and then i realized it was a chick."

i gave myself a side stitch from laughing so hard on this one.  studley thinks i have a big ass.

so we line up for the 40 laps points race and in the roll out i am up front and nole starts heckling me... "beth enjoy it up there in front, cause this will be the last time you see it."  and then after about 5 laps he starts heckling me again about my big ass.  man, it's so on.

i am sad to report that studley beat me in that points race.  (but i did beat kieran.)

next time, gadget. next time.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

sometimes execution is a bit off--

yeah, it was an april fool's joke.

about 10 of you thought you were so clever that you cared to post a comment saying so, which i had to promptly delete so i didn't ruin the fun for everyone. geez, be a team player.

so, speaking of practical jokes, i've learned a lot about april fool's day over the years...

rule number 1, don't play a joke on your mom. (hi mom!)

so i first moved to california to do an americorps program, and because we made peanuts, i moved into some berkeley, hippy, lesbian co-op (not necessarily in that order). i have many stories which i can tell about this year, which i will at a later date, but for now, i am focusing on april fool's day.

i called my mom that year and left her the most amazing message. i was really going to get her this year. (of note: this was about the time political turmoil in colombia was a bit more high profile on the news)
"hi mom! how are you? call me back as soon as you can! we had this health worker from a refugee camp in colombia come speak to our americorps group this past week. they are looking for some short-term lay health workers to man the refugee camp in a rural area...doing some pretty basic medical assistant stuff. they are doing presentations to all of the health care divisions of americorps, as we are trained in that area, seeing if people can take 2 months stints. our service hours will transfer over. i volunteered to do it, because they *really* need people and i will be leaving for colombia in 4 days. they said that i will be in a safe refugee area and there isn't any guerrilla activity and the warzone area close by hasn't been very active. anyway, just wanted to share my news. i figured i should go cause a lot of people in my americorps program are married or have kids and can't go, and they need people, so i volunteered. year of service, right? love you and hopefully i can get in touch with you before i head out. bye!"
so i hung up the phone and had a little laugh to myself and went along my day as normal...doing things berkeley hippy lesbians apparently do, like crack coconuts naked on the living room floor with sledge hammers (...not me, them...) rent was $250 a month, how could i resist?

around dinner time i thought: wow! mom hasn't called me back. so i gave a ring, but her answering machine picked up again. i thought she might be at my aunt and uncle's house, so i gave them a call and my uncle picked up. "you better talk to your mother" was the first thing he said after i said: "hi uncle paul!"

i got on the phone and my mother was hysterical:

"youcantgowhatareyouthinkingohnoohnoyoudontevenspeakspanish youcantgoohnoohnoohnoyoucantgowhatweyouthinkingohnoohno ofcourseyouwoulddosomethinglikethis" was blurted out amongst sobs, snotty sniffling, and those other unpleasant sounds that are made when someone is trying talk whilst consumed in a crying fit.

at that point the punch line wasn't so funny:

"so, uh......april fools...?" i said with my teeth kinda clinched together and then sat on the phone in silence for a little bit.


she didn't believe me at first and i had to convince her that: no, mom, i was not going to a colombian refugee camp in a warzone in 4 days as a lay health worker. (sounds so ridiculous, don't you think?)

apparently she had been at my aunt and uncle's house crying for the last 3 hours.

when my uncle got back on the phone all he said to me was: "good one, beth. what are you going to do next year, tell us that you are getting married?"

and, snap.

keirin cut sketches, page 1

thanks modern love.

p.s. i'm SO over life savers.

michael ball responds!

after months and months of harassment, i finally got a response from the ballster!
Dear Beth,

Sorry it has taken me so long to respond to your inquiry regarding Keirin Cut jeans. I tried to ignore it, but between the dozens of hysterical emails you sent, my PR manager Sean Weide's convincing, seeing that "Keirin Cut" spray paint on the ToC route, and all of the other people who keep bugging me about it, I decided to look into your idea.

As you know, the economic crisis has hit the designer jean market, and R&R is starting a less expensive line ($80-100/pair) and I am considering including your Keirin Cut in this. I realize your market research with "athletic girls" has been highly atecodotal. My team is following up on this.

I would like to talk to you further about this idea. A phone conversation would be in order first, and depending on what me and my team decide, it would be best to meet at my office in LA to do some brainstorming with my creative team, although I think you have all the creativity you need on this one.

Thanks for your persistence and we'll see what happens with this.

With regards and 57cm,

there we have it! i'll keep you posted!!!!