Wednesday, April 01, 2009

sometimes execution is a bit off--

yeah, it was an april fool's joke.

about 10 of you thought you were so clever that you cared to post a comment saying so, which i had to promptly delete so i didn't ruin the fun for everyone. geez, be a team player.

so, speaking of practical jokes, i've learned a lot about april fool's day over the years...

rule number 1, don't play a joke on your mom. (hi mom!)

so i first moved to california to do an americorps program, and because we made peanuts, i moved into some berkeley, hippy, lesbian co-op (not necessarily in that order). i have many stories which i can tell about this year, which i will at a later date, but for now, i am focusing on april fool's day.

i called my mom that year and left her the most amazing message. i was really going to get her this year. (of note: this was about the time political turmoil in colombia was a bit more high profile on the news)
"hi mom! how are you? call me back as soon as you can! we had this health worker from a refugee camp in colombia come speak to our americorps group this past week. they are looking for some short-term lay health workers to man the refugee camp in a rural area...doing some pretty basic medical assistant stuff. they are doing presentations to all of the health care divisions of americorps, as we are trained in that area, seeing if people can take 2 months stints. our service hours will transfer over. i volunteered to do it, because they *really* need people and i will be leaving for colombia in 4 days. they said that i will be in a safe refugee area and there isn't any guerrilla activity and the warzone area close by hasn't been very active. anyway, just wanted to share my news. i figured i should go cause a lot of people in my americorps program are married or have kids and can't go, and they need people, so i volunteered. year of service, right? love you and hopefully i can get in touch with you before i head out. bye!"
so i hung up the phone and had a little laugh to myself and went along my day as normal...doing things berkeley hippy lesbians apparently do, like crack coconuts naked on the living room floor with sledge hammers (...not me, them...) rent was $250 a month, how could i resist?

around dinner time i thought: wow! mom hasn't called me back. so i gave a ring, but her answering machine picked up again. i thought she might be at my aunt and uncle's house, so i gave them a call and my uncle picked up. "you better talk to your mother" was the first thing he said after i said: "hi uncle paul!"

i got on the phone and my mother was hysterical:

"youcantgowhatareyouthinkingohnoohnoyoudontevenspeakspanish youcantgoohnoohnoohnoyoucantgowhatweyouthinkingohnoohno ofcourseyouwoulddosomethinglikethis" was blurted out amongst sobs, snotty sniffling, and those other unpleasant sounds that are made when someone is trying talk whilst consumed in a crying fit.

at that point the punch line wasn't so funny:

"so, uh......april fools...?" i said with my teeth kinda clinched together and then sat on the phone in silence for a little bit.


she didn't believe me at first and i had to convince her that: no, mom, i was not going to a colombian refugee camp in a warzone in 4 days as a lay health worker. (sounds so ridiculous, don't you think?)

apparently she had been at my aunt and uncle's house crying for the last 3 hours.

when my uncle got back on the phone all he said to me was: "good one, beth. what are you going to do next year, tell us that you are getting married?"

and, snap.


Alice said...

Beth, just wait till Y O U become a mother! LOL! What fun! FYI, I'm on RSS feed, and if I'm lucky, get to start my day with your blog.

Amy said...

I can only imagine what the reaction from your BROTHER would have been!