so no word yet on whether michael ball is going to goldsprint against me during the ToC, let me drive with him in his team car, or even if he is finally going to bring me his prototype of my keirin cut jeans... with michael ball in such close proximity for the ToC, it is very important for me to step up my gueirrilla marketing so i can finally get my keirin cut jeans!
however, for this to be successful, i will need the aid of many, many cycling fans all across california. please help a big quaded girl out! it will be fun-- not only will you make me happy, but you will be part of a very historic moment: keirin cut's debut to the public media.
my vision: have KEIRIN CUT JEANS or KEIRIN CUT chalked all over the ToC route. yes, i mean keirin cut all over the road on the prologue, stage 1, stage 2, etc., etc. i want mad TV coverage! i want michael ball to be driving his escalade and be shocked at the amount of wide support there is for keirin cut. i want to see to it that "keirin cut" branding get out there more than "livestrong." (sorry lance)
versus will be covering the ToC live and what could be better than hearing phil liggett going: "what is this keirin cut?" and then listening to his commentary on the matter. which i am sure will be priceless.
so, in review-- this is what i would like you to do:
chalk keirin cut all over the bloody place on the ToC route! this can be done the day before, while you are pre-riding one of the stages for fun, or while you are biking out to watch. bring lots of chalk. and please make it very big and bold! in fact, please use your creative license. i am not particularly artistic, but i think that some really awesome chalking could show up all over. and take pictures!
and please remember how keirin is spelt. kEIrin. and while we are at it, please remember the correct pronunciation: "kay-reen" (i am pointing this out specifically so michiko doesn't have a shit fit when she sees it mis-spelled and mis-pronounced on versus 1,000 times)
now, like i said, please CHALK the road. i know-- what if it rains?!?! disaster. spray paint is not an option i endorse, as spray painting roads is illegal and even graffiti with a worthy cause is vandalism and i always respect the law. but if you are going to take gueirrilla marketing into your own hands, be sure to protect yourself by being sneaky. let me instruct.
so back in my crazy anarchist days - like the rockin' G8 summit protesting in brunswick, georgia-- i learned that if you put a hanky over your face, no one will know who you are. (actually, i never really put a hanky over my face...only the cool protesters did that. instead, i have a big file with glamor shots of me being stored in the pentagon somewhere.) anyway, hankies protect against anonymity, but also tear gas and spray paint fumes. and if you really wanted to hide the evidence, wear gloves so you don't end up with spray painted fingers.
don't have a hanky? use this most excellent method of a paper bag over your head. but, be sure to cut out eye holes.
thanks very much for you help on this matter. i think with a lot of collective harassment, we can get me some R&R keirin cut jeans. and, please take PICTURES of your work. they can be emailed to me at firstname.lastname@example.org and i will post them on my blog.
thanks for your help!
and, i wanted to chronicle my keirin cut posts-- so if you would like to review how hard i have been working to get michael ball to make me some jeans, please see below:
- August 6, 2008: Original letter to Michael Ball
- August 7, 2008: Second harassing email
- August 8, 2008: Third harassing email
- August 12, 2008: Endorsements of keirin cut: one and two
- August 12, 2008: Response from Rock Racing PR guy
- August 15, 2008: Fourth harassing email
- August 27, 2008: Four alternatives for responding to PR guy
- September 25, 2008: Poser jeans created by Hincapie
- November 4, 2008: Quad atrophy and no need for jeans for the time being
- December 2, 2008: Rock and Republic joins facebook, and I become their friend
- December 18, 2008: Fifth harassing email about keirin cut in hard economic times
- February 3, 2009: Michael Ball Challenge at ToC
- February 8, 2009: Michael Ball viewing...or not