Thursday, December 18, 2008

keirin cut in hard economic times

so considering rock racing has been on the news a bunch this week, i figured the PR guy would be really happy to get an email from me in his inbox. (cause i am sure he doesn't feel like dealing with any other PR requests and would much rather write me.)
dear sean,

hello! wow - you must have been very busy this week with all of the rumors floating around about rock racing folding. you definitely have the hardest PR job of all the cycling teams and i commend you for always being so classy subsiding all the drama, while still being able to have time for little people like me. it really means a lot! THANKS!

so i have not let my keirin cut jean dream die. in fact, the need - i think - is going to be even greater for me this year. you see, last year at this time my quads were at 58cm and grew to 63cm by season end. that is almost a 9% growth! so now, i am busy pumping a bunch of iron and getting HUGE...but don't worry, not scary body builder huge-- i am a quaint mid-westerner.... so now, my off-season quads are at 61cm, and if they grow in-season by around 9% again-- that means they could be up to 66cm by years end. which means, i am definitely going to be needing some help with my jeans!

so, sean, i realize that economic times are tough and it is quite a risky time to embark on a new product line....

however, i believe the wide support of keirin cut is very clear. especially if they were priced a little less than rock & republic traditional line and marketed toward athletes, i think keirin cut could really be the saving grace to R&R.

plus, economic times are bad which indicate a main reason women's quads will get bigger, even the typical skinny jean wearers.... less disposable income, means less rec drugs. and without cocaine, those girls' quads will be certain to grow. so, it isn't even just the athletes...

there are thousands and thousands of athletic women out there who can't find big quad/small waist jeans. my gorilla marketing techniques have exposed hundreds to me alone.... even these women in australia have come to know about my campaign.

like i said, times are tough. and my modeling services are free. you can find many beautiful pictures of me on my blog. see, here is me next to a maxim model. not so impressive, i realize, but i hope your make up artists can do the trick. and if they can't, they can just photograph my bottom half. my modeling services are pretty cheap. and i bet i could find some cyclist friends to also offer some cheap modeling services. in fact, for pay i am sure we would all be happy with just some free keirin cut jeans and a night on the town in LA. (also, i volunteer to wear my keirin cut jeans on the podium at every wednesday night omnium. typically we don't podium presentations there, but i am sure rick adams would make an exception for this worthy cause.)

well, sean, i do hope that the R&R and rock racing downsizing is not true. it isn't too late to think of an emergency business plan revival. and i am just the person to spearhead the effort. i will be happy to send you and michael ball by resume and references, along with any measurement you need to make a prototype keirin cut.

i am looking forward to the spring keirin cut line!

hugs and kisses,


4 comments: said...

so hot

Sean YD said...

You're right, Beth. I have been extremely busy - but I did want to acknowledge receipt of your e-mail.

Absolute Goose said...

You have left no stone unturned with this one. Brilliant!

Maurice said...

You are awesome! Now I want to start my own blog but I know I can't be creative like you....