Wednesday, September 03, 2008

podium girl re-cap

so before i was podium girl last night, i was selling t-shirts. can you believe TWO old men pulled the same line?
"i'll take three: one for me, one for my wife, and one for my girlfriend. HAR HAR HAR."
old men think they are sooo funny and original. but they are not. but you are obliged to laugh anyway. i learned this in high school when i was a waitress at bob evan's restaurant. those counter coffee guys are all the same. except some leave you a 50 cent tips, and some leave you a dollar.

then i was podium girl and put on a most ridiculous cupcake dress with a petit four. also there was a really ugly hanky tied in my hair. i don't have a picture, but i think tim b. took a before and after shot. so if i get it, i will post it.

it is kind of awkward kissing some people on the cheek and they don't know how to turn their head properly, so you kinda hit their chin or neck, cause they don't bend down enough...or they give you that real awkward three pats on the back. not so slick. but some, like mark altimarno, are totally smooth.

when it was the 30-34 year old women's podium, i told jen tripplett i'd give her a hicky. and then i re-applied some ugly lipstick so jen featheringill was stuck with a big red mark on her cheek for the podium picture. mwahaha.

the usa cycling guy was super impressed with my mad podium girl skillzzz. you would have thought it was brain surgery with the amount of instructions i was given to hand jersies and medals out. and then i got so much affirmation i was doing "a good job" i kinda wanted to do something uncouth just to see what he would say. i was waiting my whole cycling career for that very moment, and so happy i really nailed it. i'm retiring.

so lots of people were tearing it up yesterday. kudos to annabelle for her 2nd place & 39.6 500m! whoa! that is so awesome. she also gave me some very good advice. she always gives good advice, but this was especially good: don't drop the f-bomb around the usa cycling official. apparently she was stoked she broke 40, so when she got off the track she was f-ing this and that, and the official shook a little finger at her. that'd certainly could be a really funny DQ that one would never live down.

so i learned one really big lesson volunteering. don't - under any circumstances - stick tape on your lips because you don't know where to put it. at some point on monday i was fighting the wind and a sign and stuck some tape on my face, that happened to land on my bottom lip. and then it hurt real bad when i pulled it off...and now i have the half-chapped/half bloody lip...which is kinda like ohio winters, cause i am stubborn and don't use chapstick... let's just say: tape on lip + cheap, 10yr old lipstick + podium girl duties + my inability to keep touching and licking things that hurt = owie!


Absolute Goose said...

Bob Evan' that takes me back a bit. Do they even have those joints around here?

Nothing like biscuits and gravy to slam you into neutral when trying to ride afterwards.

ant1st said...

Biscuits and gravy, hmmmm....
Podium girls, hmmmm...

Beth, did you meet your George Hincapie?

Manley Man said...

I think it was a few years ago at the Mt. Hamilton RR where a guy won but was DQ'd for bad language. As he crossed the line he dropped a couple of happy-go-lucky f'bombs. The officials DQ'd him on the spot.

Apparently the kid's dad was watching and he got pissed at the officials. He went up to them and protested. The officials showed the father the video clip and it was clear as a bell that his son was swearing it up like a sailor.

Needless to say the son probably was on the receiving end of some fatherly f'bombs on the drive home.

Sabine said...

I really need pics....

CyclistRick said...

Pics, we need pics!

Before the next session eat something with lots of garlic. That will get some good reactions :-)

marc said...

For the t-shirt one liner guys, there must be a good comeback involving Warren Jeffs. I mean what's the worst that could happen? He doesn't buy a T-shirt?

chr15 tree said...

This thread is worthless without pics!

I think your blog entry is gonna be essential reading for all Podium girl wannabe's.

Thanks for pulling me up on all those dodgy flirty 'chat-ups' I use on the cutie in the sandwich bar. Am I really slipping quietly into middle age? I hadn't even noticed.

The keirin cut jeans are a great idea, what with all the fashionable Japanese demin around at the mo, these really would be awesome, if there is a petition going round for Mr. Ball then put my name down.

Now I am off to measure my quads, do I do it pre or post ride?

veloandvino said...

i missed you last night,I asked Tracey where you were. Oh well Shelly O did a great job too. Tomorrow, I'll have another chance.



Sponsorship. Would you be interested? What would it take?

Hope you have big plans this weekend.

marc said...

Your Saturday podium girl look had me at wtf?
People were staring and doing double takes.
It was really awesome, somewhere between a
TDF podium girl and the tour devil. Just in case
you got negative feedback, I just wanted to say
it was balanced by people who actually have a
sense of humor. You HAVE to put up pics. I
think Garrett got one.

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