Thursday, January 24, 2008

thou shalt not... wa- wa- wait!

My mom told me yesterday she thinks I am “very funny” in my writing, but she doesn’t like how I swear so much. Swear?! What the hell did I write in my last post? I re-read it. Whore. Apparently whore is a swear word.
“Whore” Word History: Derivatives of Indo-European roots have often acquired starkly contrasting meanings. A prime example is the case of the root *kā-, "to like, desire." From it was derived a stem *kāro-, from which came the prehistoric Common Germanic word *hōraz with the underlying meaning "one who desires" and the effective meaning "adulterer." The feminine of this, *hōrōn-, became hōre in Old English, the ancestor of Modern English whore. In another branch of the Indo-European family, the same stem *kāro- produced the Latin word cārus, "dear." This word has several derivatives borrowed into English, including caress, cherish, and charity, in Christian doctrine the highest form of love and the greatest of the theological virtues. • Another derivative of the root *kā- in Indo-European was *kāmo-, a descendant of which is the Sanskrit word for "love," kāmaḥ, appearing in the name of the most famous treatise on love and lovemaking, the Kamasutra.
“in Christian doctrine the highest form of love and the greatest of the theological virtues” Whore. Exactly. My point exactly. C’mon, ma’am [that is how you pronounce the word “mom” with the nazal Cleveland “a” sound], swearing? I’m just spreading the gospel like a good Midwestern girl. Geez, I wasn’t vice president of the East Ohio Conference Council on Youth Ministries for nothing!

I measured my quads this morning, and wow oh wow, they were at 59.5cm. That is astounding. I don’t know what training I have done that has caused this sudden growth, but I am not complaining.

7 comments:

place_holder said...

i wish there is a dictionary that has a "rating" feature for each word, or each definition. it's very confusing to this esl-tard.

by the way, i have a feeling that your mother meant to say that "cocksucker" was not a very flattering daughterly word.

Itinerant Rick said...

You been dipping into the chocolate cake? Quad food of the gods. Need to find me some of that stuff.

norcalcyclingnews.com said...

vice president of the East Ohio Conference Council on Youth Ministries


now it all makes sense...

chatterbox said...

It's the swearing. It makes your quads grow. Oh, wait, I think I'm confusing real life with Pinocchio. :)

Merkeley Bike said...

Must be all those biker's out there in Oaktown. I knew they were a bad influence. First swearing and then...

TreBone said...

Growing up in the means streets of Fremont, I always thought terms like "cocksucker" and "whore" were terms of endearment. Huh.

Anonymous said...

2 points:
1. Good Methodists Swear. You have to to put up with the politics, and bureaucracy: "It's Prevenient F****** Grace, b**ch!"

2. I seem to remember a lot of swearing in our household. It was probably me.